Haha, is that me?
I’ve been so busy recently, but at the same time… not. I’ve been speaking to more people, landing myself in new situations and, more often than not, have been increasingly finding myself staring into an imaginary camera. Some days I’m Jim. Other days I’m Michael. But most days I’m Jim. I am, however, always Patrick Bateman… And Dwight.
There are things I believe that I thought were common sense, but obviously not. I quit my job, I reconnected with people, I decided I was gonna be done with bullshit once and for all, and, as of recently, have decided to become the me I always tried to be. Uncensored and transparent. You thought you liked me before, wait till you see me now!!!!!!!
So I guess this post is inspired by the reason I have so many frown lines, and the reason I look into the aforementioned imaginary camera. Sometimes you just want to pick someone up and shake them and scream ‘I JUST WANT WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU’ but you can’t because you’re 5″2, so you have to settle with a rant on WordPress.
Let’s go, the clock is ticking.
Institutional education doesn’t make you a better or a worse person
Okay. It’s just a thing. If you have a degree, great. If you don’t, also great. I don’t even know what else to say on this topic. Some people came out of university with first-class degrees but don’t know a single thing about empathy. Some people never finished college but read about astronomy and take up knitting in their spare time. Privileged schoolkids in Feltham pick out fish from the pond only to slam them on the ground and stomp on them. Underprivileged kids in Asia who can’t speak your language will try to split their food directly in half and still give you the bigger piece. There are well educated people who will treat you like a queen, and dropouts who will bully homeless people. These things are not linked. Your degree of institutional education has no correlation with your morality.
You can’t make someone feel anything
To an extent. You can make someone hate you, or just thoroughly dislike you. But sometimes a person is so enamoured by you that nothing you do will make them feel any animosity towards you. I’ve seen so many heartbroken women thinking they can make a man love them and then get heartbroken again when their efforts have no outcome. Just let it go, this shit should not be forced. I’ve seen so many men go to the greatest efforts for a girl they like, only to end up complaining about the friend zone. Buying me gifts won’t make me like you. Doing all the cute things I wish my man would do for me won’t make me like you unless I already do like you…and if I already do like you, I’ll just like you more. There isn’t a blueprint for this. Sorry. You can’t make someone want to do something for you. You can’t make someone care about you. Sometimes you’re just barking up the wrong tree, don’t let this stuff turn you to stone.
Actions speak louder than words
If you’re gonna talk the talk, walk the damn walk. Words mean nothing and trust is a fragile thing. Promises mean nothing if you break them, and I cannot respect anybody who doesn’t keep their word. Don’t tell me you’re gonna do something and then not do it. How about just not say it in the first place. You can tell me how much you adore me until the cows come home, but unless I also feel it from your behaviour, your words don’t mean a single thing. You can tell me that ‘omg we need to meet up soon!’ every ten minutes, but what’s the point? I like the person who asks me to see them on *insert day* at *insert time* to *insert activity* better than the person who tells me they miss me everyday but doesn’t call. You can tell me to trust you, but if you’re doing everything to make me not trust you, it will mean nothing. Your plans to do this that and the other don’t mean much unless you put them into action. If you say something, back it up. If you plan to do something, follow through. Don’t be full of shit. That’s not fun for anyone.
We don’t all have the same 24 hours
All the people saying ‘we have the same 24 hours, what’s your excuse’ most likely had something handed to them in some way, shape, or form. Maybe they have rich parents, maybe they had better connections, maybe they didn’t need to get a job whilst they were studying, maybe they don’t have a brain that’s constantly at war with them. Maybe they were just comfortable spending every minute of their day working for a future they weren’t even guaranteed, but that is so very bleak to me. We don’t all have the same 24 hours, because some people were just dealt better cards; it’s so toxic to compare yourself to another persons success. Don’t let somebody’s Instagram tell you that unless you’re in a £50k job, dining Michelin, and driving nice cars by the age of 25, you’re not successful. When I’m sitting on a sofa watching Brooklyn nine-nine reruns with my blue Sphynx and the love of my life after a huge fight that we just resolved, and after learning that my book has been banned in several countries and some teenagers have made various weird fanfics about it, I’ll know I’ve made it in life. Some of you will laugh, my mother included probably, but this is the shit that matters to me and I’m gonna use my 24 hours how I want.
Your metabolism and immune system will take a back seat
Please don’t be one of those people who say ‘I’ve had three kids’ to excuse their poor health and overeating when their youngest child is eight years old. Get to the gym, take your vitamins, fix up your skincare regime, eat healthier. Take preventative measures, because the older you get, the harder it’ll become to start.
Love requires work
I’m so tired of lazy people who say ‘if it’s meant to be, it’ll be’. Stop it. That’s pathetic. Love is a thing you feel, yes, but it’s also a thing you do. Love is a verb. To love. You show and you give love. You have love, you feel love, you make love. You have to maintain it, you have to realise that obstacles are there to be overcome, and only make it stronger. You have to make an effort, and you will have to make sacrifices, as with literally anything in life. Nothing that comes easy is worth it. Exit this dream world in which you live in to escape accountability, and come back to reality. If you don’t communicate, if you don’t show appreciation and affection, love will die. Water the plant.
You are in control of your own happiness
You’re not unhappy. Something made you unhappy and you’ve let that run wild and control the rest of your life. What to do? Isolate it. Realise that it’s one bad thing that doesn’t have to infect everything else.. Accept that people don’t have the same heart as you. There are enough things in the world to make every single one of us happy because, gasp, we don’t all want the same things. We don’t all want the same person, we don’t all want the same car, I don’t know anybody who wants a blue sphynx, and I don’t care for 6ft+ guys. Another person cannot make you happy, only happier. Only you can do things, make changes and choices that will make you happier. It doesn’t happen at once, like the flick of a switch. Once all these things come together, you will suddenly wake up and realise that you’re happy and it will just be.
Homophobia makes you unattractive
I’m gonna write a whole post about this soon. Men have this weird thing where they think women will be attracted to them if they show that they are SO STRAIGHT THAT GAYS DISGUST THEM, YEAH MASCULINITY MUSCLE MACHO CARS OIL DIRT CEMENT SWEAT. Yes, because nothing screams ‘I’m comfortable with my sexuality’ more than being terrified of gay men. I like a man to be comfortable in his sexuality. That shit is sooOOoo attractive. I don’t like a man who would punch a man in the face just for being gay. I don’t like a man who is so vain that he worries that every single gay man in the world will try it on with him. Don’t fucking tell me that homosexuality isn’t natural and then ask for a threesome with another woman. With the utmost disrespect, fuck yourself.
Your kids don’t owe you anything
Your children didn’t ask to be born. They are your responsibility. It is your job to clothe, feed, and house them. They don’t need to be grateful for you keeping them alive, it’s your JOB to do that. I’ll never understand the parents who kick their children out of the house to fend for themselves when they turn sixteen. Your kids don’t need to respect you just because you are their parents; if you treat them like shit, don’t hit me with the ‘I’m still the parent’ bullshit. Don’t have kids unless you have the financial and mental ability to keep them comfortable and happy. They did not ask to be born. They did not ask to be born. They did not ask to be born.
Don’t ask, don’t get
Communication is everything. Say what you feel. Say what you like, what you don’t like, what you want and what you don’t want. Apologise when you’re wrong. Hints don’t work. Staring at someone doesn’t work. ‘You should have just known’ doesn’t work. The right time doesn’t exist. Regret, however, is real and it is painful. Time and tide wait for no man.
Now Playing: Revolution – Lowkey
3 thoughts on “Damn what a pity fam [10 hard truths]”
I am genuinely so obsessed with you it’s unreal. Like I swear you could rewrite my local chinese takeaway menu and i’d be like this chick needs a pulitzer prize for making a chop suey sound like something that’s actual delicious. ANYWAY. I related so hard to literally every single point you made here it was like a big, hard thump in the feels. I cannot wait for the day your books will be sold and I will fangirl so hard at a book signing.
all my loves x
ps so proud of you for quitting your sucky job!!!!
Wtf how am I just seeing this now. <3 you
This post was a biiiiiiig slap in the face wake up call! All so true 🙁