Happy New Year, I say in the middle of January.
I was AWOL for a long, long time. A time in which I rapidly grew, though sadly only in mind, and not in height, but it’s alright because I made up for that by buying platforms in the sales. I suddenly had a bunch of shit to talk about but I realised I can’t really shitpost before talking about the new year because that would be a real debbie-downer way to start 2018 off. So, here I am, telling you that NEW YEAR NEW ME, except not really because I started doing all this in about November last year. You know why? Because I’m a stubborn mule and I didn’t want to say I changed on January 1st.
But anyway, I found these big ass notebooks on the clearance shelf in WHSmith and it really inspired me to get my shit together, especially because, being the hoarder I am, I bought two and had to justify doing so. The first post I wrote was, of course, my new years resolutions – which are different from my 2018 goals, so watch this space. The good thing about these resolutions is that, ignoring the last one, they can be taken on board by pretty much anyone. Hope you consider these cos I’m on the path to complete wellness and hope you can join me on this wild ride xxxxxxxxxx
1] Say yes more
‘Hey wanna go to the cinema tomorrow?’ ‘No’
‘Hey let me take you out?’ ‘No’
‘Hey wanna do this really stupid thing and risk getting caught?’ ‘No’
I gotta stop remaining in the comfort of my own solitude and say yes to more things. Go to more places, give more chances, take more risks. I’m so lame. Was. I was so lame. NOT ANYMORE. Hold my beer.
2] Say no more
‘Hey can you read my essay?’ ‘Yea sure’
‘Hey are you busy, can you do this thing for me?’ ‘Yeah I’m actually super busy but I’m not gonna tell you that, let me help you’
‘Hey would you please cover this shift?’ ‘Of course!’
Yiking hell. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I kept doing favours for people, not because I wanted something in return, but because I just couldn’t ever say no. 2018 is the year of ‘No, fuck off and do it yourself.’
3] Don’t settle for anything
Jobs, friends, guys. If you fuck up, I’m gonna expect a grand gesture of an apology before I forgive you. If you’re draining to be around, I’m not gonna hang around you. If anything feels subpar to me, I’m eliminating it from my life. Do I have my head in the clouds? Probably. But I’d rather that than be on the other end of the spectrum. I’m tired of people telling me to stay in a job that I hate because ‘a job’s a job and money is money’. Settling means accepting mediocrity. I’m not mediocre.
4] Write more
I have three ~things~ that I started writing last year when I was, for some reason, feeling super motivated. I’ve written less than 10,000 words for each of them, however. I also used to write short stories and poetry, both of which I need to get into again. And last, but not least, I clearly need to change my blogging habits. Let’s aim for twice a month, shall we? It’s annoying because I know I can do it, but I let life get in the way. NOT ANYMORE. Maybe I’ll even write music, who knows. I gotta pick up guitar and piano again at some point.
5] Go out more
Lately I’ve been dying to go out more. After a late shift I debate going into the nearest open venue and chilling by myself [either spoons or some weird pub full of freshies, so it’s always spoons]. When midnight rolls around I’m itching to go for a drive. I want to GO places and SEE things and CHALLENGE MY ANXIETY.
6] Be healthier
I have this warped way of thinking when it comes to health. As long as I’ve trained and taken my vitamins, I feel like I’ve done enough and can do whatever else I want. Wrong. I eat shit and I sleep too little or too much. I put myself under unnecessary stress and think about things that piss me off. It’s time to eat more leaves and sleep a normal amount. I’ve already stopped lamenting over things that go wrong and I make sure I think about something great before I go to sleep.
7] Be super organised
I had a bullet journal last year hahahahah. Just the thought of buying a squared notebook is making me shake my head in incredulity at my childish naivety. I don’t have time for that shit. I do, however, have the time to continue my daily to-do lists. Anecdote: I am a little obsessive when it comes to things like this. I like to check things off and see, literally, that I’m getting shit done. I’m a notebook fiend and this year I’m making use of them all. Got my to-do lists, blog planning and creative writing in their own places.
8] Chill with the benzos
I’m not an abuser of them by any means, but I tend to reach for that little pill whenever too much calm leaves my system and a shred of panic begins to set in. I even complained to the chemist about the fact that the doctor prescribes me 2mg of diazepam in packs of ten and how the fuck is that supposed to last me when I need to take at least two pills for it to do anything.
Now Playing: Fresh Start Fever – You Me at Six