(Before I begin, I’d like to say that the default pronoun I am using here is he/him, because this is influenced by a situation I have witnessed, and because I am more comfortable talking from a female perspective. Because I am female. However, please assume that this applies both ways and to whatever gender you wish. Also, this ISN’T JUST FOR RELATIONSHIPS. It applies to friendships too….it’s just easier to talk about it as a relationship)
This is part 1 of 2 consecutive life-ey posts. A LONG one concerning the girls who are hung up over a guy they really shouldn’t even be thinking about. Or vice versa.
It’s so disheartening to see someone who deserves so much good hurting over someone who isn’t worth being a smudge on their past. Too many girls are devaluing themselves, wasting time over a lame ass and I’m just sitting here looking at them like: ?????? I’m not talking about a couple in a difficult relationship, where both are being assholes to each other, or even one more so than the other. I’m talking about girls with bright futures wanting to save the decaying mass who is wasting their life away in the corner and rejecting the only hand that wants to pull them into the light. You don’t want that as a partner, friend or even an acquaintance…
Maybe the unexplainable rejection is to blame. I mean you’re a hot shot – at least you thought so, but this good for nothing lame doesn’t even want you, what’s wrong with you? What’s so bad about you that even a lowlife doesn’t want you? Even though you give him chance after chance? But once you understand why situations like this occur, it’s a little easier to avoid. Someone who has had the fortune of being with someone way out of their league can gain a new type of confidence they don’t deserve, but take comfort in the fact that you gave him this confidence, and laugh when he falls trying to aim just as high again, knowing that he’ll never get anything better than you. Absence may make the heart grow fonder sometimes, but stop when you find yourself having to put that in place time after time. Ignore him for a bit and he’ll come running back. He’ll see what he was missing and take you back. No. If he doesn’t deserve you, you run far away…you should have noticed this the first three times you tried it. Don’t be that safe haven for him anymore. Don’t be taken for granted anymore.
Have the ability and strength to let someone go without letting them believe that you will eventually come back to them, because everyone is familiar with the textbook act of ignoring someone until they realise what they’ve missed. Well I have news for you…IT DOESN’T WORK. A person who never changes clearly doesn’t have the capacity to, so move on. Everyone knows the game. That you will take them back in a heartbeat if they say a few sweet nothings. If he’s mature and needs a little push to help him then by all means, give him the chances if he deserves them. ONLY if he shows signs of progress. But I’m talking about the literal good for nothing guys. The guys with no ambition, with nothing going for them and no sign of changing any time soon. And the girls who have so much life ahead of them and are hung up over a bum like that. And I’m talking about friends who exert this constant negative energy too.
Don’t have that desperate need to change a person who can’t be changed. When you move on and he comes back – and he will – be so happy that you don’t even feel victory. Be so full of life and love that you don’t feel powerful when he tries to come back; be so happy that you wish him to be happy too in fear of him sending the evil eye your way. Many girls want to post pictures that show him she’s having a good life without him, they want to accidentally bump into them when they’re looking their best, but where is your true happiness if he’s the target audience for everything you do? Where is your happiness if you are living your life for him? Live your life for you and your loved ones. Don’t associate with those who are so full of pride yet can’t get their lives together. You are levels above this type of person. Don’t keep looking back trying figure out why someone 50 miles behind didn’t try to chase you, as you’ll only trip up and embarrass yourself in front of what’s waiting for you at the end, watching you as you were looking back the entire time. If it’s meant to be and he’s truly willing to be the person you deserve, he’ll put a little extra effort into putting something together that will make him sprint 100mph faster and pick you up on his way to the finish line. But if you find yourself going back to help him every time you’re nearing the chequered flags, before you know it you’ll have sprained your ankle and you’re sitting on the floor watching him run off into the distance.
But in the end, nobody ever listens. Do what you gotta do and analyse what’s worth hurting over, and what is just a dead end. Only when you truly decide to leave will you learn if you’re able to live without it.
Now Playing: Late for the Sky – Evidence