I feel like August was a roller-coaster month. The month went by so quickly, but also seemed to be a massive slog. Unusual during the summer that people typically never want to end, but I have never really been a summer person.
Good old British weather is having an identity crisis, one that I’d like it to fix if people would be so kind as to stop polluting the Earth. The heatwaves left me incapacitated and I seem to have done nothing but eat and spend money this month.
- It’s so nice to feel the rain on my skin again. It’s even nicer to hear it thrash against the window, watching it soak the concrete and give life to the grass again. The sun doesn’t bleed into the sky until after I’ve woken up now, and it’s finally dark when I go to bed. I stepped outside the other day and took a hoodie with me – my drive home is starting to feel almost autumnal. Almost.
- After watching Spiderman: Brand New Day (great film) and talking about my rewatch of Daredevil, my social algorithms obviously thought that meant I wanted to see edits of the Punisher. This opened me up to a whole new world of perverts I never knew existed. Those edits turned into weird fanfics of the Punisher, followed by yucky fanfics of Jon Bernthal. Having a crush on a celebrity is harmless, but having an obsessive parasocial relationship is weird. Jumping through hoops to defend a morally ambiguous (at best) person who doesn’t know you exist is weirder. Talking about them in an explicit and inappropriate way is depraved and horrible, send the meteor.
- I’ve been to Brighton countless times. I have vivid childhood memories of penny falls, the cold beach, the sunset, doughnuts and ice cream, and fish and chips by the sea. But this was the first time, as an adult, that I was tempted to go for a paddle. It was well over 30 degrees before midday and the water was so clear and refreshing – sadly nobody went for a swim, but we packed in the pier, a picnic on the beach, and the town all before 4pm. If you haven’t been yet, Brighton has great views when the sun is rising and setting so either end of the day is a win. Just make sure you keep track of the time before you realise you’re at the arse-end of the pier and have twelve minutes to get back to the car.
- Clean the bird poo off your car immediately unless you want a splodge of cracked paint. Clean it extra immediately if it came from a bastard gull that has spent every day of its life filling its belly with stolen fish and chips. Especially if it’s a bright, sunny day.
- Canoeing for two hours (followed by a cheeky spoons by the castle) is becoming a tradition and I seem to get worse each time I go. I am unbelievably shit, weak, and uncoordinated. My arms are pathetic despite being trained twice a week and looking butch as a result. I don’t like being in open bodies of water, I can’t swim, I hate bugs, spider webs, and swans. Yet I once again plopped myself at the front of a boat for what I thought was going to be a relaxing paddle along the Thames. By the end of it, I was sweating, knackered, and my bum hurt from being sat on a wooden plank for so long. I’ll still do it again.
- Can’t believe Dolly Parton is dead! But she lived a long, full, and admirable life. Of course people of the internet like to ruin everything by asking whether she spoke up about xyz. Shut up, shut up, shut up. She was a good woman.
- I used a free trial at Pure Gym. I came away still team the Gym Group. One day I’ll be team David Lloyd, maybe. Anyway, this Pure Gym has two things I love: the standing glute kickback machine and the women’s only section. It was so peaceful not hearing weights dropping and incessant grunting from ego-lifting men. Still, that wasn’t enough to make up for the shortage of equipment, the very random layout of the gym in general, and what appeared to be children pottering about…
What I’m eating
- I don’t drink sugary drinks because they make my teeth feel funny and I’d rather have the empty calories from something else. But I will buy decadent baked goods at the local market. Sinfully delicious with their outrageously named bakes – creamy colin, kinky karen, nutty hoe… were absolutely delectable and I can’t wait to visit again.
- I’ve never been a toffee/caramel person because I hate the way it sticks to the teeth, but I saw a few bowls of Taffy Town in the local sweet shop. I was intrigued by the softness and quirky flavours, so I picked up a few. I will be picking up a few again – the texture was a bit like if you had found a drumstick in your back pocket after sitting on it for three hours. Particularly recommend buttered popcorn and strawberry.
- The last time I was at Between the Bridges at Southbank, it was the Rekorderlig cider lodge many years ago. It was cosy and nice and so very busy. This time around, I popped in on a weekday before the crowds turned up on a very hot day. Ordered The Duck Shed’s loaded duck fries and they were kind of shite. I mean, they weren’t bad, but they were super overpriced and I wouldn’t get them again. £18, if you were wondering.
- These St Michel French almond cakes from Costco are absolutely insane. As someone who is trying to diet, these are currently my vice and I wish I had never found them. I find madeleines a bit boring, but give me five of these and I’ll show you a disappearing act.
- I needed ground coffee in a pinch, so I picked up Taylors of Harrogate: After dark. It’s sublime. It’s dark and delicious, none of the fruity nonsense. I’ve tried their Rich Italian and I usually drink Union Bobolink/Revelation, but I’m adding this one to the rotation until I find a good subscription. I hear their Hot lava java is a winner, but I definitely recommend this one.
- I’m not a smoothie or sorbet person. I like desserty things to have some sort of dairy in them, at least as an accompaniment. But Açai bowls have landed near me and I made the grave mistake of trying one. At first, I tried to keep it healthy with honey granola, goji berries (why?), and cacao nibs (why not chocolate chips??). It was alright, but it tasted like Willy Wonka didn’t know what to do with a Grape Tree. This time I added chocolate and biscoff – sadly, it was so delicious. My healthy fibre bowl has been loaded up with sugar and fats and I’m still thinking about it.
What I’m reading and watching
- All Quiet On the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque. I usually go to the library for some quiet reading or writing time when I don’t fancy a coffee, and I always end up picking up a new book. I saw this on the shelf and snapped it up because I’ve been after it for a while. It is so beautifully written and so timeless. I hate using the word ‘powerful’ to describe things, but if I did, I’d use it for this stunning anti-war book. Please read it.
- His and Hers by Alice Feeney. I admit I was intrigued by the ad for the Netflix show, but I decided to read the book first – it’s part of my endeavour to move away from only reading classics. I’m about half way through and although there are some bits of the writing I don’t like, I’m really enjoying the very unreliable narration in this. I feel like a fool at the hands of Anna and Jack. Pick it up if you’re into psychological thrillers and police stuff.
- Obsession. I’m not a film buff because I rarely have the patience to sit through it all (and I was stung by Megalopolis. Horrible film.), but I am a horror freak. I will watch any horror film, anywhere, at any time as long as I’m not alone at 3am. I think people enjoy different types of horror – slasher films and body horror don’t scare me, but anything supernatural or psychological will have me watching through my eyelashes. I think Obsession is one of the best horror films of this century and Inde Navarette is insanely good – I was unsettled and uncomfortable pretty much the entire time. Anybody who is interested in being freaked out a little should watch this. Especially if you’re a woman.