When will someone nominate me for the Worst Blogger award?
The devil really is locked up because I’ve just written a blog post after two months of nothing. Not a single word.
I guess I’m supposed to include an update of my life here, except I’m not going to because when do I ever do that? Also I’m yawning and my eyes hurt and I’m sick. If you want to see me rant, my twitter is available for you to view all the thoughts I could and should have kept to myself. I’m at a weird point in my life, though. Super inspired but super unmotivated. Super happy, but super nonchalant. Super ready to be an adult, but.. yeah. In a weird limbo where the pieces of my puzzle are just hovering above me, waiting for me to give them the go ahead to just drop into place. Not yet tho, I’m not done being a fuck up.
I’m not worried, though. My skin is shit, but I’m not worried. My life isn’t any better on paper at all, but in my head, it’s all rosy. My mental health was suffering last year, and anxiety is now but a distant memory. It’s weird to think that I had a prescription for antidepressants that I, thankfully, didn’t collect. I went to a gig alone. I cut my hair. I give people chances. I now go with my gut instead of overanalysing every little thing. I say yes more. I say no more. I’m a whole other person. And I wanna tell you how I did it, starting with this post.
1 Don’t engage in idle gossip
‘Omg she had a baby’ ‘Omg he’s flirting with other girls all the time and he has a girlfriend ‘ ‘Omg they’re dating’. I know. It’s hard when all everybody seems to talk about is other people. It’s easy to talk about other people because we find comfort in comparison, even if it ultimately paves way for misery, am I right? She’s married and she’s got a kid hahahahahelpmei’mgonnabesingleforeverhaha. Yeah stop. It’s easy to walk away from this nasty habit: you literally just physically walk away. You will distance yourself from people because of it, but ultimately, you’ll feel a lot better. Don’t watch what other people are doing. Check yo self. Before you wreck yo self.
2 Theres always a silver lining. Look for it.
Look me in the eye, my friend, and listen to me. Repeat after me. You can extract a positive from any situation if you try. This is coming from an ex-supercynic. Why do we enjoy moping about and complaining that every situation is The Worst? Because we’re masochists. I hate to sound like that person, but everything in life ultimately serves some purpose and is always for the best. A bLeSsInG oR a LeSsOn. Yes, even that broken heart has a purpose. You might not see it now, or even weeks or months later, but you will eventually. Make the best of every single bad situation you find yourself in. You didn’t get that job because it wasn’t for you and there’s something that better suits you just around the corner. He cheated on you, but it’s fine because it means you’re a good person who is free of his tomfoolery and you deserve someone better. You’re running late for work so now you have to power walk and it’s making you sweat. Good, fatty, burn off that pint of ice cream you had last night. I’m joking. Or am I?
3 Fight for everything as hard as you can until there’s no fight left
The worst feeling is not knowing. I’ve said it multiple times and I’ll always say it. Missed opportunities and ‘what ifs’ ruin lives, hence why I’ve stopped fucking with that. I would rather live a life of ‘well shit I just embarrassed myself’ than ‘but WHAT IF I JUST SUCKED IT UP AND DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK??? GUESS I’LL NEVER KNOW AND IT’S GONNA RUIN MY LIFE FOREVER’. If you really want something, you fight for it. You don’t let it go because of your pride, or for worrying about what people will think, or some other bullshit reason. Fight for it until you die or until you just don’t want it anymore. You will never be disappointed.
4 If you want something you had better make some noise
Malcolm X intended this to be used on a much larger scale, but I don’t assume anyone reading my shitty little blog is about to pioneer a great movement. But tomayto tomahto. You will get nothing unless you ask!!!!!! If you want someone, tell them!!! If you want someone to leave you alone, tell them!!! If you want to be paid for your work, demand it!!! If you want to change a situation, communicate it!!!! Listen. I’ve had enough. I am guilty of the whole ‘you should have known I was pissed off by my tone of voice and the fact that I said ‘Goodnight x’ instead of ‘goodnightt xx”. From now on, leave cryptic messages in the bin. Less of ‘you should have known’ and more of ‘this fucking pisses me off, don’t do it’. Less of the hints and more explicitness. From now on I’m gonna tweet Majid Al Maskati everyday until he proposes to me. That’s me making my noise. Majid, hmu, I’m not getting any younger.
5 Appreciate the people who are there for you and forget the people who aren’t
Friends are so important. Sooooo important. Fuck family. I mean, not really, but I mean fuck the ‘blood is thicker than water’ mentality. There are people I’ve known for a few months and I would honestly, really die for them. Like if someone was to hold these people at gunpoint I would grab their fucking gun and point it at my own head. It’s so nice to be willing to gladly welcome a bloody massacre of yourself for someone else. My point is, we often spend so long moping around and being down, that we neglect the people who really make our lives better. It’s exhausting to be around a negative person, so do them a favour and appreciate them. Notice the people who take the time to talk to you, to get inside your head, and also notice the people who don’t. Notice who has never confided in you or listened to you, notice who hasn’t tried to get to know you, notice who doesn’t make you feel like you can vent to them. Fuck em.
6 You are responsible for your own happiness
Yeah, sorry. It’s time to really bring it down to reality. Your life is only as bad as you make it. Situations are only defined by your attitude towards them. We’re always so focused on what we want that we never show gratitude for what we have. Sure, it might sound annoying to say ‘I might not have a great paying, stable job, my dream car and the best husband in the world, but at least I have a roof over my head and clean running water’. First world problems suck, because we feel like a house and running water are just given, that we’re entitled to them because the gamble of our birth paid off in our favour. We also feel like we’re entitled to the great job and the dream car just because we expect that shit to fall into place for us anyway, we’re just asking for it to happen sooner. But we’re not entitled to anything. You could have easily been the person starving, homeless and alone. But you’re not. But you also still could be at some point. So remain grateful and humble. Soz.
7 Positive and affirmative thoughts only.
This one is gonna have a post of it’s own, and is related directly to something I’ve been reading. Something that apparently everyone in the world, except me, has already read. But honestly this one is probably the biggest thing that has impacted me in a positive way; I was already doing it before I read about it, but it’s become so much more ingrained in my way of thinking since I have. I guess it relates back to the silver lining, but it’s mostly about thinking everything into existence. Believe that you can have what you want, and you’ll have it.
Now Playing: Bit by Bit – Akala
When will someone nominate me for the Worst Blogger award?