Quiet is violent

Music has always been a massive part of my life.
I’m not saying that you should or shouldn’t listen to music. It’s always been something for me to turn to, to channel my creativity or find inspiration. As a literature student and ex-writer, music is the same as poetry – it sounds lame, but hear me out. I listen to it in the same way that I would read a poem or a novel, and for me, enjoying music is no different to enjoying a good book. To deprive me of music is to deprive me of writing.
Also, being the cynic that I am with nowhere to vent the shitstorm that occurs in my mind, music calms me and gives me the perspective that I so often need. I can’t say how many shitty nights I’ve had with nowhere to go, and opening up iTunes has turned my almost-massive breakdown into a smaller breakdown. I don’t wanna be one of those ‘music saved my life’ people, but it has helped me so many times in a way that no human being can. Only my cat came close but she’s probably dead somewhere now, soz Molly. It’s stupid to listen to a song and think YAS YOU REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME YOU GET ME YOU GETTTTT ME!!! But, you know.
There are types of music that I can’t listen to without feeling sick – think Alex DeLarge. I will not listen to anybody who sings or raps about shit that doesn’t resonate with me or calm me or give me a positive/angry emotion. I can’t listen to songs that are even a tiny bit sexual. I cant listen to anything remotely misogynistic, I will lose my shit. I can’t listen to half the shit people are listening to. I would rather slit my wrists than listen to the Weeknd.
I listen to music when I’m writing, when I’m working out. I have to drive with music on because if I don’t, my mind will beat the fuck out of me and I’ll probably have an accident. The unfortunate truth.
I listen to the same genres I was listening to 10 years ago, and there are a bunch of songs that I turn to when things are really going shit. Right now the mood is ‘I’m ready to smack a bitch’, but I’m gonna keep it general. I’ve missed out so many, like the whole discography of Pierce the Veil and MCR. But maybe there’ll be a part 2.Here are a few of them.

1] You are Not – Young Guns: You say you take your time, I say you hide away
‘The more you hurt, the more you heal, the more you’ll figure out‘ tru. Seriously, I like this song. Pretty much all Young Guns songs make me feel better, even though I hate when British people sing with an overly American accent, but I like the repetition of ‘lonely’ in this one.
2] Migraine – twenty one pilots: But I know we’ve made it this far, kid
Because sometimes it’s nice to realise that you’re not a special fucking snowflake and other people have shit lives too. I want to say that Twenty One Pilots does this beautifully, because their lyrics are good, but they’re so tumblr. I don’t like the fake schizophrenic thing going on that people are trying to relate to. I hate that 12 year olds are saying ‘sometimes to stay alive you’ve gotta kill your mind‘.
3] Mr Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra: Mister blue, you did it right
Just listen to it. It’s so happy and bright and I love it, I want to kill it.
4]  All I Want – A Day to Remember: Not afraid of anything, I’ve got the whole world in front of me
This song is just a little reminder to do and say every little thing that you want. Just a big reminder that honesty, whether to others or yourself, is the best thing ever. I wanted to quote the entire chorus, but it’s too long – just listen to it.
5] Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton: This beautiful lady that’s walking around with me
Faith in cute marriages restored. Faith in love lasting through to old age. Faith that your husband can still see you as this ridiculously beautiful thing in his life even when you’re old and have been together for 100 years. Wonderful cos you realise that the “goddamn I love you” feeling can last forever. If you love someone, it’s a reminder. If you don’t love anyone, then it’ll make you feel positive about what could be.
6] This is What Makes Us Girls – Lana Del Rey: We all look for heaven and we put our love first
I ADORE Lana. Or I used to. I can’t listen to her anymore, except for this song. I love this song, I could listen to it all day. I live for girls girls, women who are for women. Women who put other women before guys. This makes me wish I had Lana as a best friend.
7] Danger Zone – Kenny Loggins: GONNA TAKE YOU RIGHT INTO THE DANGER ZONE
Lana. Lana. Lana. LANAAAAAAAA. When Danger Zone comes on, you do not skip Danger Zone. You sing along at the top of your lungs and involuntarily jig your shoulders and your butt to Danger Zone. Because YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO UNTIL YOU GET IT UP AS HIGH AS YOU CAN GOOOOoooooOOOO! In the words of the great Lord Swanson, never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.
8] Shout at the Moon – Mallory Knox: It’s lonely in these bones
I never really appreciated this song until one night I was feeling shit and a lightbulb went off in my head and spread warmth everywhere. Mallory Knox are so underrated, and I wish Kerrang would give more attention to them and less attention to the likes of ex-emo bands that sold out and turned pop. And it turns out I’m not the only person who shouts at the moon.
9] It’s Not Over – Daughtry: This love is killing me but you’re the only one
Disclaimer: this doesn’t apply to abusive relationships. I’m so tired of people ending a relationship because of minor issues. I’m so tired of people living miserably when it could be fixed so easily. I’m here for people who only want one person and will do anything to make it work through the shit times with them. I’m here for people fighting for people they love. I’m here for the people who are so in love that they can’t let go of that one person, no matter what. Damn son. Why you gotta be so in love for, my eyes are sweating.
10] Poet – Bastille: You’ll live through the ages, I can feel your pulse in the pages
Because I am an English student and this song is Shakespeare as fuck. I live for that. It makes me want to write, but alas, I have been plagued with writers block at every corner for the past couple years.
11] Northern Downpour – Panic! At the Disco: Hey moon, please forget to fall down
The first time I heard this song was almost 10 years ago, when I was but a greasy spotty emo kid and I was surprised that I liked it so much – but it later became and remains my favourite ever song of theirs. Like a fine wine it ages and becomes even more beautiful than the last time I heard it. This was back when Panic were good –  I mean they’re still good, but it’s not the same band at all. Still, I applaud its existence even though it required a move into mainstream sound. As I said, however, it’s not Panic!; Ryan is a much, much, much better songwriter, and I’ll never stray from that statement. Northern Downpour is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, and I can’t deal with it.
And on that note, I’m going to leave you with my favourite ever Panic! lyric, and one of my all time favourite lyrics that have ever been written, something that I feel is timeless and will always be relevant. My eyes are about to downpour. Goodnight

 I know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home.