Ridiculous things I've heard this Ramadan

Except this time, they’re from Muslims.

We’re halfway through Ramadan and I can’t tell whether it’s going really fast or really slow. It’s harder, I cannot lie. I am but a shell of myself, a zombie going into work with shit skin and minimal words. I see everything 3 seconds after it actually happens.

I think I wrote something last year-ish about questions I’ve heard during Ramadan in general. I’ve grown up since then. I’m older, wiser, angrier. Very impatient. I have no time for ignorance and stupid people, and the more time I spend on twitter, watching the influx of 17-21 year olds spew their bullshit, I’m seeing more ridiculous opinions and lack of education. Lack of self-awareness. Lack of consideration. Kids these days really look for any reason to be offended – it’s like they enjoy the idea of being oppressed, they get a kick out of being controversial for no reason. I feel like an old angry lady waving her stick around at the children outside for being too loud. But in my old age and wisdom, I’ve also learnt to be much more tolerant. I know, it sounds so ironic given my impatience. But I’m more forgiving, less judgemental; I adopt more of a ‘let people be’ stance. So let people be. Except people who stay stupid things.

‘We fast because it shows us how the poor live and humbles us’.
No we don’t. We don’t fast so it makes us grateful, we don’t fast so that we know how the less fortunate live, we don’t fast because it  shows us what it’s like to feel hungry. That is NOT the reason we fast. It’s a benefit, yes, but how pathetic would it be to say that we fast to know how the poor feel when we know we’re guaranteed food, when we know we’re going to stuff our faces with more food than our stomach knows how to handle every evening? Is that how the poor live? That is a huge mockery, if you ask me. It’s offensive and ridiculous to say that Islam tells us to starve ourselves so that we know how the poor feel; Islam was not created with just the well-off in mind.We fast because, first and fore mostly, it is an obligation (with exceptions). It’s meant to be a spiritual awakening, to rid ourselves of worldly desires and bring us closer to God. When we fast, we’re not just abstaining from food. We’re meant to abstain from food, drink, music, sex, backbiting, lying, free mixing, etcetera, etcetera. We’re meant to do good, give to charity, pray. The fact that Ramadan isn’t just about food, or the lack thereof, makes assertions about fasting for the poor even more ridiculous.

Stop it.

Imagine living in poverty, with barely any food to survive on. Then a whale of a person with a fat wallet tells you they’re not eating for a few hours because they want to know how you feel. At sunset, they get dressed, go to a restaurant and gorge on food, whilst you remain starving. You don’t get to eat in the morning, you don’t get to eat at night. And this dickwad is telling you this experience is giving them an insight into your life. I think tf not.

‘Lol I’m so sick of people asking ‘nOt EvEn WaTeR!!!’
I cannot believe anybody would mock someone for asking them a question about their religion. You complain about ignorance, and then you complain about people wanting to gain knowledge? So what the hell do you want?
I think it highlights your own ignorance for thinking that your fasting is the only type of fasting that exists. Other people fast, and for many reasons. Religion, health, just because they feel like it. People fast in different ways; some eat certain things, some drink water, some are allowed to take medication and vitamins, some don’t consume anything at all. Why would you mock someone for asking ‘not even water’? It’s less believable that we wouldn’t be allowed water.

People are so quick to call others ignorant for not knowing this information about Ramadan, but I guess these are the same fools who don’t know what ignorance means. They’re literally asking you a question to absolve themselves of their ignorance, you should be happy that they’re asking you. Not once have I ever gotten pissed off or felt incredulity at someone asking me, and people have asked me many questions. Can’t you drink water. Are you allowed to have sex. What, you’re not allowed paracetamol. How can you fast for 30 days straight without dying. The last one, I admit, requires a little common sense, but nevertheless, it’s a question; its curiosity. They don’t actually believe that you don’t eat for 30 days, but they want to know how fasting works. Answer peoples questions and don’t complain.

‘How can you fast but not wear hijab?’
One sin does not necessarily take you out of Islam and stop you from practising any part of it. When you drink alcohol your prayers aren’t accepted for the 40 days following, but even then you still have to pray. How thick must you be to say ‘you’re not the perfect Muslim so why do you even bother trying?’. How can you wear hijab and fast, but still judge people and dish out snarky remarks? If people don’t want to wear hijab, don’t pray all the time, if they drink, smoke, lie but still identify as Muslim, it’s nothing to do with you. Some people don’t fast at all, and that’s also nothing to do with you. They don’t owe you a reason.
The best part about that is I saw this tweet from a dumb bitch who wasn’t even wearing ‘correct’ hijab. Girl, in that case, let me ask YOU; how can you fast but not wear hijab? If you’re wearing makeup with your hijab, does it still count? Does your fast count more than mine when you’re talking shit? Back up.

‘Lol look at these Ramadan Muslims’
This is probably the worst one. Muslims calling other Muslims ‘Ramadan Muslims’ for observing Ramadan. Lol you don’t normally wear hijab, why you wearing it for Ramadan? Lol you drink and smoke weed, why you not doing it just for Ramadan? Lol I thought you weren’t religious, why you fasting? First of all, all capable Muslims are required to observe Ramadan. Second of all, are you asking me to drink during Ramadan? Do you hear yourself?

Regardless of how you live outside of Ramadan, nothing changes that you have to observe it. God does not tell us that if we’re ‘haram’ for the rest of the year, we’re not allowed in the club – so who are you to judge? I’ve heard stories of people who wear hijab for Ramadan and then continue to wear it afterwards. People who stop drinking for Ramadan and then never touch another intoxicant ever again. Just because you wear hijab and eat halal food does not mean you are the perfect Muslim who doesn’t need to improve – you yourself need to become a ‘Ramadan Muslim’. The first thing, perhaps; stop judging people who sin differently to you.

‘Women are so indecent in 2019, being so open about their periods’.
Listen you weak ass bitch. If I’m on my period, best believe I will be eating freely. I’m not gonna pretend I’m fasting in front of men just in case it offends you. I’ve seen so many tweets from men talking about how ‘indecent’ and ‘immodest’ women are for talking about periods. I don’t mean talking, in detail, about the nature and consistency of periods, because that’s disgusting unless there’s something abnormal you’re trying to diagnose. I just mean periods in general.

But guess what? WE HAVE PERIODS! We bleed on a monthly basis because that is part of our biology! It’s literally part of being a woman! I’m sorry that a bleeding vagina offends you because it doesn’t fit the image of what you want a vagina to look like. I’m sorry that it tarnishes the image of the ‘pure’ and ‘clean’ woman that you have in your head. But the fact of the matter is that periods exist. We can’t fast whilst we’re bleeding; not just because of the blood. Periods are hell; they cause cramps, back pain, nausea, and mood swings amongst other things. Sometimes the pain can be so intense that we can black out from it. Women do not need to suffer in silence due to an inevitable, regular, biological process just to avoid making men cringe.
Muslim men, don’t ask women why they’re not fasting. I know what I said above about asking questions, but this is different. You know exactly why. And if you don’t, don’t act disgusted when I tell you.

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