We don't ignite

‘Hmmm,’ she wonders, her fingers hovering over the trackpad of her brand new, photogenic rose gold Macbook. In front of her, to the right, are three pots of succulents, carefully placed next to a photo frame with nothing but the words ‘Carpe Diem’ in a curly font. She studies the mason jar on her left, filled halfway with a strawberry milkshake, carefully mixed to the exact shade of millennial pink, to complement the walls of her room, dotted with various edgy photographs in white frames.
She hesitates as she skims through the tabs open on safari.
‘5 favourite drugstore products’
‘Makeup Revolution: Naked dupe?’
‘Living with anxiety’
’10 Lipsticks every girl needs in her makeup bag’
‘What’s in my handbag?’
‘Screw it,’ she thinks out loud. Oozing with confidence and determination, she clicks on the tab that reads “Write new post”.
10 beauty hacks
She sighs out loud, relief and pride exiting her black-choker adorned throat.

Ahem. Sorry, that was a little rude.
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How to blog.

Step number 1: make sure your laptop isn’t  DEAD.
It’s really creeping me out that it’s 1am at the time of writing this and I have randomly started to smell an unfamiliar womens perfume that wasn’t here before… anyway. I dislike talking about my own personal goings on (going ons?) on here. Not everything I write is autobiographical, but sometimes you can’t help but spill over into your words, you know? I have trouble expressing myself because there are literally not enough words in any language, not enough metaphors to help me do so. So immense frustration ensues and I write even more to dispel this frustration. Also, remember that one can write poetry in a way that makes the reader think it is autobiographical; it’s not difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
Anyway, I am NO blog expert. But take it from a person who frequently dissociates and rarely cares about anything: I can tell you what you’re doing wrong, and I can tell you what will make it better. Here are  a few blogging tips:
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