Period period period period period

*hears whiny crying in the distance. Slowly but surely, this crying becomes louder and louder with every approaching footstep. Suddenly a wild male appears*
“Sister, please preserve your modesty. Your talk about menstruation is unnatural and dirty and you will go to hell. Do not talk about such things, keep this private. Is that a t-t-t-t–t…..that which cannot be named in your hand? Hide it, nobody needs to know you require such things and it offends me. Unnatural. Dirty. Filth.”
To which I signal for a whole shower of tampons “Go to hell gurl you make me sick.”
Upon contact with said tampon, the male fizzles away and dies. Good.
When I first hit puberty, I was one of the many girls  who hid tampons or pads or anything period-related. I used to ask my mum to buy them for me (well not tampons, because if you use tampons then it means you’re NOT A VIRGIN!!111!), and if I had no choice but to go and get them myself, I always bought something else big enough to sit over it and hide it in the shopping basket. I used to have a supply in my handbag and when my friends used to see it, they’d shove it far back down my bag and say ‘omg people are gonna see it’. I think I remember a story about a guy crying in school because a girl slipped a pad into his pocket and he was embarrassed. My mother says that tampons and pads shouldn’t be kept in the bathroom in case a male enters the bathroom and accidentally sees it. Guys are too embarrassed to buy tampons for their girlfriends as if someone is gonna think they’re for him instead of admiring how much he cares about her. They’ll probably postpone meeting her until her period is over, not just because they get no sex, but because it’s ‘gross’.
I don’t get it
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25 things every girl honestly wants

I mean, I think it’s 25, I didn’t actually count. I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation but I mean…a girl wants a break from that. Just clearing out my drafts, don’t mind me.
For carbs and fat to skip the waistline and go straight to boobs.
A guy who’s going to shut down any girl that tries to make small talk with him, and makes her feel like shit for attempting it.
The same guy to humiliate a girl who flirts with him, and make her cry for being a hoe.
For foundation to go on smooth and poreless the first time round after waking up with gloriously  baby-like skin. So we can look like real life dolls before leaving the house.
To have skin that doesn’t break out upon contact with £2 lotion so we can have great skin and not break the bank
For all of our favourite TV series’ to NEVER END. Thus eradicating the lack of sense of purpose we feel when they do.
For the USA to just disappear off the face of the earth
For the OC to come back on tv.
Someone, partner or friend, who will defend us to the death and fight for us in whatever way possible, who will eradicate anything that hurts us and destroy anyone that causes us distress. Someone who is ready to ruin lives of people who wronged us 10 years ago.
A guy who is a prick to other girls because he doesn’t need or want them to like him. A real life partner in crime, whose entire life, every aspect is shared with us.
Bras that fit perfectly and don’t cost £500
To be able to wear sweatpants and no makeup in public without being called a slob, and to be able to wear makeup and look good without guys thinking we do it for them Read more

10 Things every girl needs to remember

That’s a really ugly picture of how amazing the sky looked last night.
Anyway, so I heard my mother say that my brother shouldn’t wash the dishes because “He’s a boy and that’s a girls job” and I LOST IT. She says it quite often and it makes me scream at her; this time it has prompted me to write this. Here are what I think are 10 things every girl should know. And I’m not going to tell you to wash any dishes.

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Been here for too long, yes it’s time to fly

(Before I begin, I’d like to say that the default pronoun I am using here is he/him, because this is influenced by a situation I have witnessed, and because I am more comfortable talking from a female perspective. Because I am female. However, please assume that this applies both ways and to whatever gender you wish. Also, this ISN’T JUST FOR RELATIONSHIPS. It applies to friendships too….it’s just easier to talk about it as a relationship)
This is part 1 of 2 consecutive life-ey posts. A LONG one concerning the girls who are hung up over a guy they really shouldn’t even be thinking about. Or vice versa.

It’s so disheartening to see someone who deserves so much good hurting over someone who isn’t worth being a smudge on their past. Too many girls are devaluing themselves, wasting time over a lame ass and I’m just sitting here looking at them like: ?????? I’m not talking about a couple in a difficult relationship, where both are being assholes to each other, or even one more so than the other. I’m talking about girls with bright futures wanting to save the decaying mass who is wasting their life away in the corner and rejecting the only hand that wants to pull them into the light. You don’t want that as a partner, friend or even an acquaintance… Read more

5 Things I hate about Instagram…..well, arguably 5.

(I don’t know who these people are…and I don’t care. By having your profile public, you expose yourself to have your profile and pictures taken by people you don’t even know!)
Firstly, can I just apologise for any erratic behaviour in my blogging habits. My antidote to every stupid thing around me is far away from me, and, needless to say, I am irritable and bored. I am trying to find a purpose, and the wait is agonising. I have, however, tried to distract myself, and so I’ve done a bit  a lot of online shopping, it’s a wonder I’m not broke yet. I’ve also completely revamped the look of my blog. I can’t believe I was using that crappy theme for so long? I mean I love minimalist themes, but that was ridiculous. Anyway, I’ve changed it up and I do like it, only I wish they had darker colours…but I’m here to talk about another media form. Not words, but photos. Instagram.
Instagram is one of those marmite apps. Depending on how you use it, it could prove to be a worthwhile investment of your phone’s memory. But, as with any website, blog, or person, abusing it for stupid purposes will fuel resentment from some. I do like instagram a lot, but there are some things that I see that really annoy me, obviously. Read on. Read more

Finding out that I've got the guts to say anything

Long time.
So the burden of semester two is actually drowning me in waters I have still barely dipped my little toe in. How do I go from reading 3 books per four months to reading 4 books per week? Its crazy. I hate reading, I hate writing I hate pretty much everything. I don’t even possess the energy to create a second world to roam around and escape this shit one in, I’d rather just sleep. The real poison of studying something you are passionate about is that you become so sick of it that you can’t even find escape in your hobby because IT IS NO LONGER YOUR HOBBY. Still, I wouldn’t dare deviate from this path, it’s just so tiring trying to sharpen the lines of it. I’ve hit a rough patch, is all. But I have decided to force myself to read books I love again in order to gain inspiration, but whilst I’m wrapping up the ones on my reading list, I’ve taken the time to leisurely browse through what other minds are vomiting out onto their blogs.
So, after doing a little blog stalking in a semi-fruitless attempt to cure my writers block/84 year hiatus, I’ve finally been able to articulate a reason as to why I haven’t been able to write any prose or poetry of any sort. The main reason is obviously because I lack time and motivation, but that isn’t the reason I’m going to dwell on right now because it depresses me.
Out of the few female blogs I visited (not fashion or political ones), they all had poetry that said pretty much the same thing. That being, more or less, “I am the girl your mother warned me about. You can’t handle me. You’re still looking for me in every girl. Because I’m not like the rest. You could have had me but you lost me”
And I cringed so hard. Like DAMMMMMMMMMMNNNN originality, where art thou? That kind of stuff was cool to read a long time ago but it is way too overused, and I cannot fathom why there exist some amateur writers who haven’t realised this. That stuff has been done. Ended. Finished. It’s no longer cool to be different. It’s not quirky or unique, it’s annoying to tell everybody you’re different because you’re really not a special snowflake. I am annoying and bitchy like every other girl, and I am different in my own way, again just like every other girl. It’s weird how even in this day and age, people don’t realise the irony in claiming to be different to every other girl/guy…..if you are truly not like every other girl/guy, you honestly don’t need to say it. Not because you’re trying to prove a point, but because you’re too busy being your own person to be small enough to compare yourself to anybody else. You’re acknowledging your superiority to this petty shit without being an arrogant dick about it because you ARE superior to that petty shit. Ain’t nobody got time for that. But anyway, back to my point. I’m worried I’ll write something embarrassingly cliche as the work above and that is honestly the LAST thing I want to do… unless I’m satirising of course……
Nonetheless, I’m happy to say I’m back and no more long breaks this time.

Now Playing: Guts – All Time Low