Hey Assbutt: Huggers

You know when you’re with a friend, and she sees one of her friends and goes to hug her and then the friend greets and hugs you too out of propriety?
That’s my worst nightmare. If I don’t know you, DON’T TOUCH ME. If I know you, I’LL DECIDE IF I’M GOING TO HUG YOU OR NOT.  There’s only a couple of people I’ll accept a hug from, and even when I do hug it’s not a proper hug. Just one of those lazy “I’m not actually hugging you but if I put my hand behind your shoulder and move to make it look like I’m half-hugging, it counts”.
You know when you have a guest and apparently it’s rude if you don’t get up and hug the relatives you don’t even know? I’ll stay seated on the sofa thanks, maybe even stand, but a hello will suffice.
But if I don’t know you, don’t touch me. And no, it’s not a germ thing.
Read more