9 Things to do when your date starts rapping in the car

The evening went amazingly well, even better than your week of fantasies thought it would; each night of charming conversation from the moment you swiped right all culminating to this very moment, the way God intended. A candlelit dinner ending in laughter over wine and a shared tiramisu, a walk along the river with his hand on the small of your back; you exchanged stories about your youth, he told you his mother would just love you. The chemistry is off the charts and you can’t wait to go home all giddy and starry-eyed.

Now you’re in his car. And he’s rapping.

The fire has been blanketed and you’re dryer than his mouth during the five minutes he’s spent delivering rhyming couplets to you and you’re looking for a swift exit. You’re too gobsmacked, too stunned to ask him why, why are you subjecting me to this? so you endure until it’s time to go home and get back on T*nder.

Unfortunately, it will most definitely happen again. Fortunately, you can keep these tips handy for the next time you’re trapped behind the bars of an unwarranted fire-in-the-booth session. Read more

I can only build if I tear the walls down

You know what’s shit? When you miss the Optimum Nutrition black Friday deal.
I’m gonna talk about advice-giving. Advising?
I don’t like giving advice. Because a) I don’t care, b) I can’t deal with strangers who cry and c) you won’t listen anyway. This is how the human brain works; people want ‘advice’, but what they’re really looking for is their own opinion wrapped up and fed to them in a caramel latte. I don’t believe in this.
Let me give you a preview of my self-proclaimed world class advice. This sample is relationship heavy because, let’s face it, 90% of people are looking for relationship advice. Here you go, friends.
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