You want to know something astonishing? I know people who have no hobbies.
I know, I can’t believe it either. I have a shit life, but imagine having no hobbies. Wow. What do you do with your life? Don’t you even follow a sport or like photography, or some kind of art? I’ve seen the social medias of people who do nothing but take selfies and go out all the time and I fall into the most depressive mood. For them. Then I appreciate the fact that I’m not a talentless, goalless and boring airhead. I might be ugly. And weird. But that’s better than being the former.
So, I thought I’d compile a list of how easy it is to gain a hobby, because I realised I never feel unfulfilled simply because I have a number of hobbies. Pause – gain a hobby, that sounded funny. Unpause. I meet people who feel bored, or who feel unsatisfied with their life, or are simply waiting for something to happen to them. If you had hobbies, my friend, you wouldn’t have this issue. Fortunately, your favourite ugly is here to help give you some inspiration. Here are mine, but remember; to thine own self be true*. (*Famous tumblr quote).
When all the world is going to shit, I mean really shit, I have one way of coping. I’m talking really, really shit. I mean past all the ‘my life is shit‘ kind of shit and into the ‘well, shit‘ kind of shit. I’m talking the kind of shit where you can’t do anything but sit and listen to music and stare at a wall, because laying in bed means you’re alone with your thoughts for too long than you’re comfortable with and soon enough your pillow starts warping into the image of a faceless person. The kinda shit where you don’t even consider self harm because you don’t want attention from anybody and what’s the point in doing it unless you’re actually ready to kill yourself.
So yeah, as you guessed, the coping mechanism is a song. I’m not going to lie, as lame as that sounds, and as much as I wished I had an actual person as my coping mechanism, this song is important to me. It has helped me through many a terrible time and I was thankful for it in the good times. As Bob Ross said, we gotta have a little sadness, right?
Nobody knows about this song. Not a single soul. And that isn’t about to change, at least not for a long time now – I’ll probably take it to the grave with me. I’ll never use a lyric as a blog post title, it is that sacred to me. But, as this is an entire post dedicated to the song, I’ve used one of the words as the title. You’re welcome. I’ve told people what my ‘favourite songs’ are, but never about this. It’s not Belief. It’s not Superheroes. It’s not Grace. I have never even spoken about the fact that such a song exists until now.
All ye who indulge in schadenfreude, gather round.
It’s not mental health awareness week/month/whatever, but alas, not everything is restricted to a particular time of year. I talk about this now because, as a third year student, the pressure when you have looming deadlines and a dissertation that will basically determine whether or not you just wasted £27,000, is crippling. In addition to everything that crippled you before university.
So understandably, a lot of us are faltering in the mental health department. I’m not saying that a lot of us suffer from mental illness, because a lot of us don’t. I have already spoken about how too many people claim ‘depression’ or ‘bipolar’ when they don’t actually suffer from these illnesses, but that doesn’t mean our mental health doesn’t suffer. Much like physical issues, our brain sometimes suffers
It often comes in many contradicting forms. Maybe you stay up until dawn, downing red bull and coffee for hours until you’re seeing shapes dancing around in front of you, telling you it’s time to go to bed or you’ll collapse. Maybe it’s rejecting all invitations to go out, go shopping, relax, because you have too much to do and you couldn’t possibly deal with the guilt you’ll feel when you get a horrible grade, because it’s obviously due to that one day you took off. Maybe you consistently study because it’s the only thing to distract your mind but at the same time it’s burning you out. Maybe it’s the tendency to sleep all day and all night because you have so much work to do that your brain and body just can’t deal. Maybe it’s going out all day everyday just to avoid the 5 deadlines you have next week. Maybe it’s people telling you you look sallow and tired and that you’re working too hard. Maybe it’s the fact that you can’t remember a time where you had the energy to be genuinely happy about life because life itself is begging to leave you.
I had a rant on my snapchat a couple of days ago, and it’s one that I want to expand on.
I used to take photos, all the time, at every chance I got. I was like an excitable dog, whipping out my phone to take a photo whenever I was really happy or I was with someone who made me happy or I saw something that made me happy. I used to write at every chance I got. I wanted to shout about everything to the world, because a writer has so much to say and wants to say it always. In words and in photos, for when words aren’t enough. A writer has an overwhelming desire to express themselves and have it known. Because even you’re not the happiest, you see the words and the photos and everything is kind of okay again. I used to snap away and post it everywhere I could. I look through my phone at photos I used to take and it just reminds me of a time when I was happier. Because that’s what I did. I took pictures. I wrote. I was a writer. That’s who I was.
But then I deleted everything. I deleted tumblr, and I stopped getting the urge to write and post. I deleted Instagram and I stopped taking photos, I stopped feeling excited enough to take out my phone, I stopped forcing people into my memories, I started to hate how I looked. I deleted Facebook and I became alienated from my family and the only way I stay in touch with my friends is through snapchat.
I talk about social media like it’s the devil, but the truth is it’s not. We live in a generation where social media is so prominent, so to tell you that it’s poison is wrong. If you have instagram, indulge. If you have tumblr, indulge. If you have Facebook, indulge. We are the social media generation, and if you grew up with social media, it’s almost unspeakable to suddenly get rid of it. Ghost when you’re happy, when your life is set up. Not when you still have growing up to do. Have a break every now and then to gain perspective. As long as your entire life isn’t social media, it’s fine. As long as you’re not using it to compare your life with others, it’s fine.
You know what’s shit? When you miss the Optimum Nutrition black Friday deal.
I’m gonna talk about advice-giving. Advising?
I don’t like giving advice. Because a) I don’t care, b) I can’t deal with strangers who cry and c) you won’t listen anyway. This is how the human brain works; people want ‘advice’, but what they’re really looking for is their own opinion wrapped up and fed to them in a caramel latte. I don’t believe in this.
Let me give you a preview of my self-proclaimed world class advice. This sample is relationship heavy because, let’s face it, 90% of people are looking for relationship advice. Here you go, friends.
I’m about to get real philosophical here.
When life is kicking you down, it’s natural to become dangerously ruthless due to the feeling that things can’t possibly be worse. You realise how temporary everything is. You realise what’s important, and what’s not, but oftentimes, when you’re in this position, you tend to view everything with a negative light. What’s the point in anything. There’s nothing good about anything so you might as well fuck shit up. Everything is shit, so look on the brightest side you can, which is probably a dark shade of grey. My favourite.
Most importantly, you realise that you don’t have to deal with anything you don’t have to.
I quit my job that I was a part of for four years. The managers were assholes, it’s a shit company and I don’t want to affiliate myself with them anymore. Last week it was my last day, and a shitty one at that. Four years working at that place, 2 years with that particular company and I didn’t even get a goodbye! I don’t mean a goodbye gift or party or whatever. I mean literally the word ‘bye’. The only person who did was my OLD MANAGER who called me twice to wish me the best. It’s always the companies that pretend to care about their employees that are actually the worst. The company is Max Spielmann. Fuck them. I hope you sack of shitnuggets read this somehow. I hate liars.