This was a pretty hard post to write.
I’m often berated for my ‘oh well’ attitude. And praised as often as I’m berated. I am absolutely not emotionless… at all. I have all the emotion in the world and I can be a little bitch sometimes, but I can also easily detach from people. This is one of the few posts that I actually had to edit a few times; there were things I wrote on here that became way too personal. Way, way too personal. You could almost have learned a thing or two about me. These are things i had to delete, omit, change up a bit. It got dark, my dudes.
So I’ve gone full Taylor Swift and I’m telling you about 9 songs that I’ve accidentally attached to certain people. Dangerous, I know. I’m not about to expose anyone, though. There are no names, but if the boot fits, wear it. Tag yourself, I’m You x
Here’s another episode of ‘K doesn’t shut the hell up about music, yeah we know it’s a massive part of your life, it’s a massive part of everyones, you ain’t special.’
Wow, ok. But I did commit to doing a regular monthly playlist, and I will deliver.
Auld Wives – Bear’s Den
Shout out to Wilko for their banging playlist; I heard this song when I was shopping for half price pick & mix (probably).
Just For Now/For You – Tonight Alive
Just for Now is my favourite song on the album and I’m dying to hear it live. I’m having dreams about the sore throat I’ll have the morning after belting it out. For You is one of those songs you don’t really like at the beginning but then you realise that’s it’s chill af and you’re suddenly playing it on loop. It’s so relaxing. Feels like a hot knife in butter.
I have taken a break from watching youtube videos of Scott’s alpha roar on loop. That one scene when he roars at Aidan, anyone????? Amazing.
Anyway, aside from doing that I’m also basically listening to the same songs on repeat whilst writing. Is it a good idea to play these songs on repeat? Probably not. I know I’ll regret it a few months from now when I try to listen to them again. I also have been making the rookie mistake of taking too many benzos before important events – like job interviews. The mistake being that taking them actually has the opposite effect of what I want them to have. Sure, I’m relaxed. But I’m a little too relaxed. Like ‘Haha. Yeah so then I – sorry, wait what was I just saying?’ relaxed.
Anyway, as per usual when I do this type of post, I am sharing a very important part of me and my everyday life; here’s what I’m currently listening to:
Some type of love – Charlie Puth
Apparently I really like Charlie Puth. Who knew? I’ve had this on repeat for god knows how long, I actually forgot other songs existed for a while. First I had Attention on loop. Then I found this. Ma boi Charles spitting straight truth.
You want to know something astonishing? I know people who have no hobbies.
I know, I can’t believe it either. I have a shit life, but imagine having no hobbies. Wow. What do you do with your life? Don’t you even follow a sport or like photography, or some kind of art? I’ve seen the social medias of people who do nothing but take selfies and go out all the time and I fall into the most depressive mood. For them. Then I appreciate the fact that I’m not a talentless, goalless and boring airhead. I might be ugly. And weird. But that’s better than being the former.
So, I thought I’d compile a list of how easy it is to gain a hobby, because I realised I never feel unfulfilled simply because I have a number of hobbies. Pause – gain a hobby, that sounded funny. Unpause. I meet people who feel bored, or who feel unsatisfied with their life, or are simply waiting for something to happen to them. If you had hobbies, my friend, you wouldn’t have this issue. Fortunately, your favourite ugly is here to help give you some inspiration. Here are mine, but remember; to thine own self be true*. (*Famous tumblr quote).
Imagine I almost cried when I read Chester Bennington’s note to Chris Cornell after his death. Imagine I write a tribute to Chris Cornell on his birthday. And on that same goddamn day, Chester Bennington is found dead.
Chester fucking Bennington.
Honestly, I’m distraught. I wrote in the last post that Chris Cornell’s death was the only one to affect me. Well, girls and boys, make that one of TWO deaths to affect me.
Let me tell you that Linkin Park were a big part of my entire child/teenhood. My entire. Teenhood.
Truth be told, no famous persons death has affected me.
When I was younger, I thought I cared that Michael Jackson died, but looking back on it, I really didn’t. It was just a shock that someone so familiar, so universally famous and loved had died.
After that, it was weird to me. Being upset at a famous persons death was weird to me; they’re a normal person. I wouldn’t be so affected if another normal person died. I wondered how people cried, screamed, ripped their hair out and locked themselves away when a famous person died. It was so weird.
Whitney Houston died, and I didn’t care about her.
David Bowie died, and despite being a huge fan of his, I was shocked but I didn’t care.
Prince died, and, whilst I was a fan of his music, he was kind of an asshole, so I was shocked but I didn’t care.
George Michael died and I was admittedly a little upset because Wham was played pretty often in my household and at family get-togethers…that and because after his death emerged stories of all his charitable work. I still didn’t care.
I have just never cared.
On May 18th 2017, however, Chris Cornell died.