Imagine queueing on a mountain

September 13, 2026 by kkamilah Leave a comment

I will never queue at the top of a mountain. Are you dumb.

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I wake up after 7am, I am a huge lazy failure who is wasting her entire sloth life away. Like today. Obviously, this isn’t a humble brag – I hate it and I don’t want to feel guilty for waking up ‘late’. I am a woman. And I am tired.

Being up early means I have more time to think. Having more time to think means I have more time to drop myself into scenarios that I haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing. Like this one that has recently plopped itself on my radar: the queues on Yr Wyddfa (Snowdon), and the fact that people are upset with others for refusing to adhere to their nonsensical queuing system. Read more

To write well, you must live: part 2

August 20, 2026 by kkamilah Leave a comment

All consuming and no living makes Jack a dull and stupid idiot

There are times I’ll have a conversation with someone and they’ll actually say something like burnt toast theory. It’s giving. Ate and left no crumbs.

I get that language evolves, but genuinely what the hell are you talking about.

Other times, I’ll have a conversation with someone who is so detached from anything online that I am embarrassed for myself when they don’t understand a reference I’ve made (road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does).

In that moment, I realise some people really are just living their life away from social media influence (as intended), and others have TikTok (or Vine) fully wired into their brain. There’s a sweet spot – where you get the reference and you know what the trends are but you don’t fall victim to influencer crap.

When you’re incessantly consuming repetitive content, including “tips and tricks” from people around the world (who seem to live the exact same life, for some reason. The beauty in our differences is lost.), you also don’t really have anything interesting to talk about except the regurgitated shit you’ve read and heard.

Consequently, you can only repackage it through your own point of view that has also done nothing but go to the gym in Oner and a slick-back, eat a healthy high-protein balanced meal, take 15k steps, and use red light therapy. Or wake up and make a cup of tea, take a nature walk, write in your journal, post an article about ‘the media I consumed this week’, and be in bed with your kindle at 8pm. Everyone seems to want to be boxed up into one of few categories, and doing one is no better than the other.

Content – on TikTok, Instagram, and now even Substack – becomes a snoozefest. We’re inundated with nothing but articles and videos about how to schedule your day to be exactly like each others. Read more

Thoughts before watching “Wuthering Heights” (they’re bad)

February 21, 2026 by kkamilah Leave a comment

After watching Hamnet twice in a week last month, my fizzing excitement and awe have finally died down to a gentle, ever-burning ember – just retreated into the background enough for me to become hot and riled up again as the release of Emerald Fennell’s pitiful take on “Wuthering Heights” looms nearer.

I believe there are a few instances in which it’s okay to slag off a film before watching it. Everything my eyes have been subject to about this train wreck – from the promo, the trailers, the billboards, to interviews with the creator herself – has told me that this film is going to be nothing but an utter pile of rot. And the only reason it’s going to be an utter pile of rot is because of the way it has obliterated one of the greatest novels ever written.

I’m not talking ‘the book was better’ or ‘it wasn’t a faithful adaptation’ – I’m talking she chewed up the book in her brainless 14 year old self’s mouth and regurgitated it twenty-five years later. If she even read it.

I have no expectations for a faithful adaptation

Like so many other people who are seething with rage, I first read Wuthering Heights in school and it immediately became one of my favourite novels. Through studying it, I didn’t fantasise about a Cathy who looked like me and a Heathcliff who also looked like me – I, along with my classmates, picked apart the text and the context, explored themes and wrote essays that always included something about Heathcliff’s ambiguity and ‘otherness’, Cathy’s ‘wildness’. Then I read it again for fun almost every winter as a young adult and, now, a fully-fledged adult.

I was obsessed with the unhealthy obsession, the moody moors, how fucked up the characters are – not because I thought it was a beautiful dark romance but because of the exploration of human psychology and the complexities of the characters. At the time, I was also writing stories involving gory murder and blood, torture and kidnapping etc etc. My teachers weren’t impressed, I think.

From playful and fun, to politically correct: Censoring Roald Dahl

February 19, 2023 by kkamilah Leave a comment

Roald Dahl books, nationally revered and loved by kids everywhere, are having lots of alterations made to them by woke, politically correct editors who want to appease snowflake adults. Roald Dahl, nationally revered and loved by kids (lots of whom are also adults now), is also dead and unable to speak out against the censorship being placed on his books.

I am against censorship in books and I am against banning books; sanitising them isn’t too far off. There are books and authors whose writing I despise – but I don’t believe in rewriting or banning them. Even if it is Salman Rushdie.

It seems to me that people would rather pull the wool over their children’s eyes than use ‘offensive’ language as an opportunity to explain the real world to them; the real world which, might I add, is a lot worse than how Dahl portrayed it. And let’s be very honest, the reason we love those books so much is because that language is all around us; it’s playful and it’s descriptive and it’s something we understand. I’m sorry you don’t like the words ‘ugly’ and ‘attractive’, but they are adjectives that exist nonetheless. It makes no sense to censure the use of the word ‘ugly’ when it is being used to describe characters whose entire story is based on the fact that they are ugly (both inside and out). How do you rewrite that? Not to go all Hopkins-Clarkson-Morgan, but I don’t understand why we need gender-neutral terms in the books either. I cannot, for the life of me, understand why ‘Cloud-men’ is more offensive than ‘Cloud-people’. Why is the word ‘man’ offensive? Men and women, boys and girls, exist; this fact shouldn’t offend anyone, regardless of their own beliefs about gender. Are we going to rewrite every character in every book as gender-neutral? Must we rewrite Harry Potter as the person who lived? Read more

(Anti) Feminism, part 3 – The Phenomenon of the ‘Pick-Me’

October 28, 2020 by kkamilah Leave a comment

Ah yes. We have reached the end of this angry rant with my favourite topic.

Not least because I am, by the standards of Twitter’s feminists, a big fat, giant, massive pick-me.

I don’t believe pick-me exists in the Oxford dictionary, but by and large it refers to a woman who doesn’t hate men (and vice-versa, but I can only speak from the perspective of a straight woman).

You defend men, believe they have feelings and should be looked after the way women are? Pick me! You want to look after your man; you want to show him love, cook for him, and do nice things for him? Absolutely a pick me, disgusting! For shame! You like men for their personality and their character, rather than their money, clothes, possessions etc? Ew, I hope he picks you sis. You don’t want all men to die? On God, we gon’ get someone to pick you.

Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? That’s because it is.

The only anti-pick-me narrative I agree with is that of a woman actively bashing other women for the approval of men. Being snide, bitchy, and unnecessarily rude just to get a few laughs out of men; laughing when a man hurts a woman who has done nothing wrong; supporting an abuser just because you think he’s sexy. Purposely putting other women down and trying to make yourself look better. That’s a real ‘please pick me, I’m different to the other basic bitches. I’m so much cooler and better than them, please pick me, they’re all ugly ogres and I’m so different to the rest; you’ll never find another girl like me, I promise you that. You’ll be thinking about me when you’re with her lol I’m so different, I leave a mark on people.’

But obviously, people have watered this down to suit their own agenda, and now pick-me generally refers to a woman who apparently does and says things as a mating call, because we obviously don’t have our own brains, and everything we do in life is solely in the quest to attain male approval. Which is very telling for the people who use the phrase. What a phenomenon.

I want to dissect it and destroy it.