*hears whiny crying in the distance. Slowly but surely, this crying becomes louder and louder with every approaching footstep. Suddenly a wild male appears*
“Sister, please preserve your modesty. Your talk about menstruation is unnatural and dirty and you will go to hell. Do not talk about such things, keep this private. Is that a t-t-t-t–t…..that which cannot be named in your hand? Hide it, nobody needs to know you require such things and it offends me. Unnatural. Dirty. Filth.”
To which I signal for a whole shower of tampons “Go to hell gurl you make me sick.”
Upon contact with said tampon, the male fizzles away and dies. Good.
..
When I first hit puberty, I was one of the many girls who hid tampons or pads or anything period-related. I used to ask my mum to buy them for me (well not tampons, because if you use tampons then it means you’re NOT A VIRGIN!!111!), and if I had no choice but to go and get them myself, I always bought something else big enough to sit over it and hide it in the shopping basket. I used to have a supply in my handbag and when my friends used to see it, they’d shove it far back down my bag and say ‘omg people are gonna see it’. I think I remember a story about a guy crying in school because a girl slipped a pad into his pocket and he was embarrassed. My mother says that tampons and pads shouldn’t be kept in the bathroom in case a male enters the bathroom and accidentally sees it. Guys are too embarrassed to buy tampons for their girlfriends as if someone is gonna think they’re for him instead of admiring how much he cares about her. They’ll probably postpone meeting her until her period is over, not just because they get no sex, but because it’s ‘gross’.
I don’t get it
Read more
Tag: story time
Storytime
Don’t you just LOVE thunderstorms? It’s currently 1am here and I’m enjoying the sounds of rolling thunder gently overshadowing the sounds of the Big Bang Theory. I say rolling thunder, but it sounds like someone in the sky is continuously opening and closing some sliding wardrobe doors. And I know I’m posting too much, but the situation has presented itself, and I have a rain-influenced story to tell.
So this incident happened, and I will forever remember this godforsaken memory because it is the day of my brothers birthday.
Anyway
So we left the house early that morning, around 9am, in order to find a birthday present for him [re: a toy], and it was CHUCKING IT. I mean it was pissing down with rain that seemed to just get heavier and heavier the whole time from when we left the house, back to when we stepped back into it.
We found a toy. After much pleading to buy EVERYthing, including a watering can and a mobile drum kit(????), we settled on a somewhat educational/fun toy because I am a fun but grounded older sister (not). On the way back from the shop we decided to stop off at Tesco so I could buy a Betty Crocker red velvet cake mix since I was being too lazy to make one myself, and that’s when it happened. Probably my punishment for thinking Betty could do a better job than me.
Read more