Gratitude


This is a quick one on the importance of practising gratitude.

I’m not going to deny the fact that I’m a miserable bastard. I’m prone to feeling sorry for myself and believing life keeps throwing shit cards at me; every time I overcome one hurdle I’m already tripping over another. I know there are a lot of people who think like this. Those of us who have, unfortunately, been a little on the rapidly deteriorating side of mental health are very familiar with it. It’s helplessness, it’s pessimism (that we like to call realism because, let’s face it, we live in a shit world and things are more than likely going to go wrong more often than not – that’s just the way life is), it’s feeling oh-so tired of all the bullshit because when will it end? When will I get my walk in the park, when will I get my rainbows and butterflies? When will life slow down for me, when will I finally catch a break?

It feels like a storm and it’s never ending; sometimes I would have a fleeting burst of happiness and joy, and I’d clasp my hands around it in a desperate attempt to hold it close to me before it disappears forever, but it always flies away just as fast as it came. So I’ve learnt to not hold on; I let it come and go as it pleases. I don’t force it to remain, because the little happiness I do get I want to remain genuine, and I hope that it chooses to stay longer and longer. If I’m happy, I feel it. If I’m sad, I feel it. I don’t pretend it’s something else.

In amongst all the bullshit, though, there are ways to find something closer to happiness. Just like you can think your way into a bad mood, you can also think your way into a semi-good mood. One of the most effective ways of doing this is through gratitude. As a species, we are never happy with what we have and we’re always looking for more; consequently, we’re always dissatisfied. But stopping to really absorb the good that you do have does wonders.

No matter how low you feel, there are always things to be grateful for. I want to make it clear, however, I am never someone to say ‘you should be grateful because somebody else always has it worse.’ I don’t believe that, because all pain is subjective. When I talk about gratitude, about your own life, about finding things to be happy about, it is never ever in comparison to anybody else. Your life and your hardships have nothing to do with anybody else; there is no such thing as ‘be happy; someone else’s life is more shit than yours.’ Not only is that insulting to the other person, it does nothing to help you. Another person’s suffering does not negate your own. Not only do you still feel horrible, you now also feel guilty for feeling horrible. Yes, there are people starving to death, but that doesn’t make your pain any less valid, no matter what it’s about.

I digress. Let’s think of gratitude as a source of light in your life.

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But that doesn't make it any easier to get through [shitpost]

Hey.
Welcome to my night time, coffee-fuelled shit talking post. I haven’t done one of these in a while, but if you’re new to my blog, know that these are probably the most honest and raw posts I’ll ever write. That’s why they’re rare. Sometimes it’s in the form of poetry, other times, like now, it’s just word vomit. I don’t edit these. It’s the time where I’m wired but also tired, and when I’m listening to my night time songs.
Alright
One weird thing I’ve been called is ‘strong’. Strong because I can let things go, strong because I can stand by my beliefs, strong because I don’t fall for every guy that talks to me. I don’t know. I don’t know if I like being called strong, because there are certain expectations that come with that label. Am I allowed to cry? Am I allowed to fight for a guy who doesn’t give a shit? Am I allowed to have panic attacks? Am I allowed to be too nervous to walk into a crowded place sometimes?
Because I do all of those things too. And sometimes, that label gets in the way.
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To do and not to do – Ramadan

I’m salivating in my misery too.
Oh yeah, in said misery, I forgot to say it’s Ramadan…
I’ve noticed a few people have been reading this old Ramadan post that I wrote last year, so I should really come back with another one. The problem is, I don’t really have much to add to that post. So, er… Isn’t it weird and beautiful how the weather suddenly took a turn for the cooler/windier/rainier as soon as Ramadan began?
I do have some questions. Why are girls posting snaps of themselves half naked, and snaps from weeks ago from when they were in the club? Wherefore? I don’t know what guys are doing but I’m guessing taking videos of themselves driving in their car with music on? I say that because girls are doing it and guys are even more douchey.
I digress. I’m supposed to be trying to stay positive.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m very lethargic this year. I’m finding it difficult, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the acceptability of snacking at 1am. Once again, I’m losing muscle and fat in the wrong places.
Anyway enough about me, shut up, here are some dos and don’ts:
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This world is only gonna break your heart [June Journal]

6/06/2017
Today’s prompt: Something to remember
That thing: you should never have to convince anybody to give a shit about you.
For so long I had this idea that you could make somebody support you if you just prove to them that you’re worth supporting. Well, no. I thought that if someone doesnt give a shit about you then it’s their loss. But that changes when it’s someone close to you. Friends, family, partners. I used to think that if you just convincingly prove your case, you can make someone give a shit about you.
I used to get frustrated and angry if I wanted a person to be on my side and they just wouldn’t. I was confused and frustrated and hurt. I used to be angry if someone who meant a lot to me was so pressed on being diplomatic, because I wholeheartedly throw diplomacy and logic out the window when it comes to someone that means a lot to me.
I realise I was an idiot.
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Things 2016 taught me

2016 was a shitty year. I’ve had some of the best days of my life, and some terrible ones. The world has seen a political shitstorm and many lives have been taken. Changes have occurred, and some people are depressed because they have realised they’re exactly the same person they were 12 months ago. People have come and people have gone. Well, not for me. But for some.
This was a weird transition into the new year for me.
So, instead of lamenting over things that went wrong, things that I want to keep in 2016, and simply remembering specific events, I’m going to think about what I want to take with me into this year. I’m – gasp – actually celebrating it for once.
Here are the things I’ve learnt, and the things that I realised are important.
1] Priorities
You should never be torn between the most important thing in your life and something that pales in comparison. If you are torn, then both of those things are as important as each other. Going to that get-together on Saturday might seem important to your social life right now, but in 10 years, will it matter if you gained a better social standing at the expense of getting a first in that exam, or keeping the person you love happy? The answer is no. Put things into perspective. Read more

I can only build if I tear the walls down

You know what’s shit? When you miss the Optimum Nutrition black Friday deal.
I’m gonna talk about advice-giving. Advising?
I don’t like giving advice. Because a) I don’t care, b) I can’t deal with strangers who cry and c) you won’t listen anyway. This is how the human brain works; people want ‘advice’, but what they’re really looking for is their own opinion wrapped up and fed to them in a caramel latte. I don’t believe in this.
Let me give you a preview of my self-proclaimed world class advice. This sample is relationship heavy because, let’s face it, 90% of people are looking for relationship advice. Here you go, friends.
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