Anywhere I go I make the gang go [Wales journal]

PSA: My heart belongs to North Wales. This is a long overdue post.
I always say I hate the shithole in which I live, but that I would never leave London unless I was going to Finland/somewhere in Scandinavia. Well, except I ABSOLUTELY WOULD!!!! To North Wales.
The last time we went to south Wales everybody was racist, so bye.
 
I love Snowdonia. I love Conwy. I love Llandudno. I love the people, the accent, the air. I am not a people person really, but everyone here is so nice!!! I love it!! It makes me wanna be a better person. I love that nobody litters. That actually warmed my cold, dead (joking, it’s warm, bloody, and very much beating) heart. I didn’t see that many bins, but nobody threw anything on the floor (except a couple banana skins on the mountain, hashtag slow release energy). I love that everywhere you go, you can see mountains. I love all the streams and I love that there are sheep literally EVERYWHERE. I’m not a beach person. But I am a mountain person. I am definitely a free-roaming-animals-in-the-street person.
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I choose to fantasise [Summer bucket list]

What a hiatus that was. Ha ha. Sorry. Permission to slap my idiot face, message me for details.
But now that I have no more academic responsibilities, I have more time to write my woes away. I mean, that may or may not be a really good thing in my search for a career, what with the forcing myself to refine my few skills. Between trying to write a book and applying for jobs that won’t recognise my awesome anecdotes, I have NO!! TIME!!!!!!
Honestly. My bucket list is actually quite short and comprised entirely of things I had on it the year before. And the year before that. And the year before that. Notice a pattern? Yeah, you do. Because that pattern is the consistent fact that I am sad and do nothing good with my life ever.
Well, o brothers, that’s about to change, o brothers. I’m about to become a fine, laughing, life having, all singing, all-dancing piece of crap malchick.
Thank you mr Marko, for giving me the boost I needed to start writing posts again. For now.
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Itchy feet for a change of scene [June Journal]

10/06/2017
Today’s prompt: A new thing to try
Starting to work towards a completely new future that I’m not prepared for.
Okay, let’s start small. I realise these posts are just a way to distract myself.
I want to travel. I don’t travel. I have never been anywhere except two family holidays which don’t count because I was young.
 
I wrote a couple of posts before about how important it is to explore the city you’re in, how important it is to build up the friendships you have in those places. Ironically, I didn’t follow those words after that.
But now I can, and I will. I’ll start by fully enjoying London, and then hopefully, unless the political climate worsens, everywhere else in Europe (except France, fuck France). Either with willing friends or by myself. I want to go, just go, I want long weekends in Austria, Sweden, Germany. I’ll even go to Morocco. I just want to get out of this country for a while, this city. I want to get away from all the toxicity around me; I don’t want a fancy hotel and an expensive trip. I just need a flight and somewhere to sleep.
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Shoot a hole in the sky [June Journal – top priorities]

9/06/2017
Today’s prompt: Your top priorities
Today is a shit day. So God’s work is here, telling me that my next prompt means I have to focus on my priorities right now. I don’t have the will to write an interesting introduction either, so let’s get straight to it because life is shit, life is shit.
Physical health
I want to get my sleeping pattern back in check, I want to eat properly and I want to train even more and even harder than I used to. Once you’ve passed your teens it is vital to look after your health – you can’t keep staying up late snacking and drinking energy drinks. And once you’ve passed a certain age, your metabolism slows down dramatically and you get fat and lazy. Basically. So why wait for that age to begin (which is harder to do), when you can get the ball rolling years beforehand?
Financial stability
I’m graduating next month. These past two weeks were supposed to be used for writing cover letters and applying for jobs, but Ramadan has me so lethargic and unless you’re looking for a standard part-time job, you need to focus. I haven’t really decided what I’m doing yet. I had to quit my job and I’ve been a student without income for the past few months, which means for the first time ever I am worried about money and will be struggling for fucks fucking sake.  You have bills to pay and no way to pay them. But it was my own fault. Even though I’m in a shit place and I’m months behind, I guess now I have my degree behind me. On the one hand, I want to kickstart a career. But on the bigger hand I don’t want to kickstart a career. I kinda do want a part time job so that I can get some income to pay for my outgoings whilst I work on something I enjoy. A life in an office isn’t something I want. Read more

Like a rat in a cage

Wow, a whole month. I am sitting here with a headache, an eye ache, a neck-ache, a backache, leg pain, ringing ears, depleted motivation and a blow to my energy. I’ve been off uni for a good few months now and I would love for someone to give me a fat kick up the ass and tell me to get my shit together. Alas, my ass remains comfortably seated on a sofa. In front of Netflix. Where it always is.
However, some clouds have a silver lining. In my dissertation research, I’ve had difficulty in finding a novel that contains ALL the things I need, and finding a critic that shares ALL the same views as me. I have found nothing so far. But you know what the silver lining is? An increase of motivation by approximately 0.005%; if it hasn’t been written, you gotta write it.
LOL
Yeah, I lol because it took me a whole month to summon the energy to write another post and here I am slapping a few photos on a page and calling it a day. As you can tell, I throw all my energy and talents into my words, leaving none for my photography skills. But sometimes we don’t take photos for artistic purposes. Sometimes it’s for memories, and sometimes it’s just to show you the shit I’ve done. We got our old photo albums down from the loft, dating back to the 50s/60s? And I realised two things. One, to spend as much time as possible with those who are important. And two, that it’s the real and in-the-moment shots that we appreciate. Not the artsy ones that took 12 different takes in perfect lighting. This is memory lane, not a gallery.
Ridicule is nothing to be scared of, girls and boys.
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