your humble narrator.
If you were ever involved with a writer
as a friend, a partner,
an acquaintance or a lover,
and you think she’s writing about you
The truth is she probably is,
maybe she doesn’t know she’s doing it
maybe she reads over it
and sees you in it too
But the real question is
what are you doing
still reading her writing
hoping she’s writing
about you?
– k.
Now Playing: West Coast – Lana Del Rey
6) How would you describe happiness?
It’s when you don’t want to go to sleep because you want to taste the air and hear the noises and feel the cold; you want to be there living your life instead of being semi-dead. And it’s when you can’t wait to sleep just so you can lay in bed a while, replaying memories or thoughts in your head until you fall asleep; you blink and it’s tomorrow, and you get to live all over again for another day. And you can never remember what you dreamt of last night because you didn’t; your reality is better than any dream you could ever have. It’s when you’re walking home on a stormy night without an umbrella, or anything at all, to protect you and you laugh when you feel the rain soaking you through to your skin, making your clothes damp and your makeup run, and you feel gross. And you walk slower and laugh some more because you feel alive and grateful. When you notice the cute well-behaved kids, when you notice the adorable old couple, when you notice the punk rocker laughing with a hipster, when the sun hits you from a certain angle and you feel beautiful. When you don’t have a single negative thought inside you, no bitterness, no regrets, because everything good cancels out the bad. It’s when you feel like nothing could ever take that feeling away from you and you want the world to feel the same way as you.
At least I assume so.
Now Playing: Stained Glass Eyes and Colourful Tears – Pierce the Veil
Don’t try to save the boy
who is clinging onto you,
desperate for air that only you can provide.
Don’t try to save the boy
who drags you underwater
whilst trying to get above you;
“I need you” he says
“you’re the only person who can save me” he says
without even moving his feet.
He will poison the water
as you are dragged under it.
In all his joy to be able to breathe sweet air again
he will shake off the girl trying to grab onto his ankles.
If he tells you you deserve better than him,
he’s right.
Let go
Run.
You can’t save somebody who doesn’t want to be saved.
– k.
Now Playing: Shoulda Known – Atmosphere
I will not cling to the cuffs of your jeans
or be dragged along by the back of your shirt
by the thread hanging off your sleeve.
A small gust of wind
will blow me away
and slam all my doors.
Let me crawl into your skin and make my home
so the only way you can make me leave
is if you tear yourself open.
Show me to my home
and I will give you the key
to yours.
– k.
Now Playing: Somewhere in Neverland – All Time Low
“Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.”
I think I’m way too old for my age, but I guess at least that means I’m less likely to have a mid-life crisis. The scariest thing to me, though, is knowing that when I’m 80 years old, if I live to be that old, my mind won’t be altered much. Being my current self trapped in a frail, weak old body is a terrifying inevitable truth that I have to prepare for. Being unable to go to the places I want and do the things I want to do all whilst knowing that death is creeping closer and closer to me. NOPE.
Now playing: Who Says – John Mayer