I want to start this by clarifying that I still don’t identify as a feminist. I don’t agree with so many aspects of modern feminism. I believe a woman can cover up and that it is NOT oppression. In some cases, however, it is. I’m drawing attention to that.
Before I wore the abaya, and even the hijab, someone once tried to convince me that women must cover up because we must be responsible for attracting men. That men and women are inherently different, and that men are more likely to be attracted to physical aspects of a woman than vice versa. Because men are dogs.
The only part of that I agreed to was the fact that we are inherently different, to an extent. And that has largely been the basis for me urging women to continue to be modest for their own sake; men, however, piss me off. Really, I don’t think all men are dogs. I think many men are respectful, particularly in light of how many men support the right of a woman to do whatever the heck she wants. It’s only the mentality of Muslim men that made me think ‘yep. Dogs’. Nonetheless, I agreed to that explanation and kept quiet. Because what could I say? Well today is the day I step up and say that this is fucking bullshit.
Can I just start of with a little anecdote; I recently finished reading The Hours [for my Health & Illness module at university], and I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that I liked so much and that made me want to jump out of the window at the same time. For that reason I give it a 7/10 because it’s beautifully written, and the distressing nature of the novel is intentional – I just didn’t care about the characters. If you want to read about depression, though, and a truly accurate portrayal of it, read this novel. Put down your YA fiction about cigarettes and broken hearts, novels that you know will have a happy ending, and pick up this one that will put you into the roadblocked mind of three women. It has a way of making you feel their depression without actually using the word ‘depression’.
Moving on, I’m revisiting a topic that I’ve been over time and time again. ‘Hijabi’ beauty bloggers. YouTubers. Aspiring make up artists. These women is they are perceived as ‘strong’ because they’re Muslim women who are making something out of their lives – they’re successful considering they’re Muslim.
However, to claim that they are ‘successful Muslim women’ is just atrocious. They’re successful women, sure. But successful ‘Muslim’ women?
How do you define success as a Muslim woman when the reason for your success goes against Islam? Call yourself a successful woman. Not a successful Muslim woman. [By the way, there isn’t anything successful about doing makeup and showing off your clothes on the internet. Anybody can do it, everybody does do it. There, I SAID IT.]
You know what’s annoying? I have the TV on right not – Peston on Sunday – and my mum just said “If you’re gonna watch the TV can you slow it down”. Why do freshies do this? Instead of “speak quieter” it’s “speak slowly”. Why.
You know what else is annoying? When I tell someone I’m “unavailable tomorrow because I’m going to have a stomach ache”. How dare you scoff. Of course I know, I’m a woman. We know precisely what day we’re going to be bloated, tired, bitchy and bleeding.
Anyway I notice that I blab a lot on here but you don’t really know anything about me. Aside from I am opinionated, annoying, and rant too much. But here I have found 25 not-so-boring questions which I answer in an attempt to tell you something about myself without telling you too much at all. Because honestly I’m not doing this for you. I’m literally here trying to find something out about myself. It calms me.
That’s a really ugly picture of how amazing the sky looked last night.
Anyway, so I heard my mother say that my brother shouldn’t wash the dishes because “He’s a boy and that’s a girls job” and I LOST IT. She says it quite often and it makes me scream at her; this time it has prompted me to write this. Here are what I think are 10 things every girl should know. And I’m not going to tell you to wash any dishes.
Oh my GOD a photo of WOMAN THINGS oh my GOD better DELETE MY BLOG so diSGUSTING!(!(!!))
PMS. I’ll take all the painkillers with a fat duvet and a side of 2 cherry cokes with 5 cheesecakes please, also get the fuck over here and love me because I want to rip your head off with my teeth so I can cradle it like a baby.
The reason I started with TMI is because girls lack the TMI that they need. Looking back, as a girl who was still learning about what it means to be a woman, I didn’t want people tiptoeing around a sensitive topic and making sure everything is man-friendly. I needed TMI, I needed detail and brutal truth. We don’t need those tampon adverts showing us that women are bright and happy whilst half bleeding to death, we need the realities of waking up and being too cautious to move out of bed in case you paint the sheets red, the stomach cramps that make you pass out, the fact that going through something natural is so damn expensive.
“Whoever kills a believer intentionally – his recompense is Hell, wherein he will abide eternally, and Allah has become angry with him and has cursed him and has prepared for him a great punishment.” [Quran; 4:93]
1. the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.
I’ve been so MIA, for various reasons, and a new one is because my nails are too long to type comfortably. One is also broken and I’m too scared to rip it off the nail bed. Anyway. This is a long one.
So I don’t know about anywhere else in the world, but over here, people are finally
getting a glimpse into honour based violence/murder, thanks to a show called Murdered by my Father, which you can watch on BBC iPlayer here.
I don’t remember the last time I was so thankful for a drama, and this has opened a lot of eyes to the disgusting traditions that a lot of women are subject to. Too many people are oblivious to this horrible crime performed in the name of culture, reputation or warped religious interpretations. Imagine a woman is KILLED for having sex before marriage? Tortured for having a boyfriend? Beaten for wanting permission to marry someone she chooses, rather than someone she despises? MURDERED BY HER FAMILY FOR BEING A VICTIM OF RAPE BECAUSE IT BRINGS SHAME ON THE FUCKING FAMILY? For the average woman in the UK, such a thing is unthinkable and doesn’t sound real.
This is NOT just limited to Muslim families. It is VERY widespread and happens all over the world, to people of different religions. At best, this is in the form is disownment. At worst, it’s murder.