Dreamy little bastard, I done ran outta luck

The Ted Bundy Tapes. Trigger warning.

First of all, it’s not scary. You amateurs.

When I was around 16/17, I wrote a paper on serial killers; specifically Richard Ramirez, Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer. I researched the hell out of them and serial killers in general; I bought books, read articles, etc. Obviously, when I got a notification about this new show, I was interested. Cautious of it, but interested.

I specifically dropped a subject at school and switched it for a project where I could write about them. They fascinated me – they still do. They fascinate me from a psychological and political perspective. The usual what drives a killer, what drives someone to do something like that, how they might not even have a drive because they might just be psychopaths. It fascinated me how this man could dress up as a clown and torture people and sit on little kids. Or how another could successfully convince the police that the lost, bloody, obviously underage boy was his lover, just so that he could take him back to his apartment, kill, rape, dismember, and eat him (in that order) before dissolving his remains in acid. Amazing. Incredible.

They fascinated me firstly because – surprise – I like reading about taboo, gory, obscene and disgusting shit. The more graphic, the better. I got into Palahniuk and Easton Ellis and the rest is history.

But I moved away from fiction for a bit because I realised that these are (white) men who committed these unforgivable crimes, and it has taken a Netflix documentary released in 2019 for more people to be exposed to them. I feel like my confusion whenever a toothless racist calls an Arab man a paedophile or a wife beater can finally be understood – white men been raping kids and murdering women for time. This isn’t about race; but it’s hard not to bring it up when every race other than white is considered backwards and violent. If it weren’t for my weird interests, I don’t know how much i would know about the topic; I know it took research on my part. I don’t know how many people listening to rap actually go out and read about Dahmer but hey…

So I would have hoped a Netflix doc about old Teddy would expose people to crimes committed by the ‘normal’ American man. The normal man who helps catch a purse thief might also be the normal man who wants to shove a metal rod up your ass and then eat your flesh so that he can truly possess you ….like a horcrux. I see a lot of people on social media complaining about romanticising; I agree with them. There isn’t anything to romanticise about that. But the people who are complaining that they’re ‘normalising him’ are….fucking thick.

Of course they have to normalise him. Of course Ted Bundy was a normal, charming, good looking man. Why shouldn’t he have been? This is normalising because he was normal. He WAS charming, good looking, and smart. He was your normal middle class American. Who just so happened to be a rapist and skilled murderer.

Romanticising, however, is done by so many idiot fucking girls on social media. I want to strangle every single one of you dumb little kids. If you want to try and save men, do so. But don’t extend it the dangerous types. He wasn’t misunderstood, he wasn’t a lost soul. I don’t think he was a psychopath; not remorseful, obviously. A narcissist, definitely. But his emotional problems void the possibility of psychopathy. He suffered from anxiety, depression, and general insecurity; a psychopath isn’t familiar with these feelings. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to try and make excuses for him. It’s never okay.

Women tend to romanticise and fall in love with serial killers and all round shitty men because of the weird maternal thing we have going on. I get wanting to ‘save’ a man, wanting to look after him, and wanting to be the girl that changes him. It’s dumb and naive as fuck, but I get it. But you can’t change these people, and it’s foolish and vain to think you can – to think anybody can. It’s not impossible, but it’s also not worth thinking about. Delete that ridiculous picture of Betty and the Hulk. You know what I’m talking about.

What is not okay is refusing to normalise murderers, and instead trying to isolate them as being ‘different’. No. He was your normal American who happened to enjoy murdering people and fucking their dead bodies. If he were black or brown, he would definitely be a ‘normal’ black or brown person; aka a thug or a terrorist. Because that’s normal for us. Obviously.

Normalising him is okay and normalising him is right. Because people who do these things are normal.. on the outside.

What’s not okay is categorising a group of people who appear to look the same, dress the same, speak the same language and have the same skin, but disregarding who they are behind that.

Hopefully we’ll finally, finally open up a narrative about how many normal, charming, good looking men might be out to run a knife down from your throat to your stomach and gut you.

It’s 2019. If you wanna fuck a dead body, you’d better get written permission.

Now Playing: Blow – Tyler, The Creator

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