Daddy longlegs season is upon us and I am traumatised every single day. I can’t wait until those horrible craney strings of fly death wither away because I spend the majority of September screaming.
Autumn is my favourite season of the year. I am extremely sensitive to drastic weather changes, and for that reason I hate Summer. I can wrap up in the winter, but in the summer? What can I do, rip off my skin? And I can’t think of anything worse than sweltering summer nights. I don’t care if it’s 40 degrees at 3am, I need a blanket.
I hate that everybody gets sick in the Winter and I have to live as if the next person could breathe a little too close to me and BAM runny nose and pounding headache for the next two weeks. Come to think of it, everybody in my house is sneezing at the moment. It’s only a matter of time.
Spring probably has to be the worst. I hate liars. I hate water that’s lying about being milk. I hate Winter that’s lying about being Summer. -50 degrees, sun out. Frozen tears, but if I move 2 inches to the left, the sun is burning my back. What’s the point in the cold when we don’t get the early nights either? I hate spring.
And then there’s Autumn. Sweet, sweet Autumn. I’ve been quite harsh on Summer, I do like not having to layer up a million times and I do like not being too scared to be alone on the streets at 5am, but Autumn. Late Autumn. Like, end of October when all the flies have died Autumn.
1. Layering. Choosing your level of warmth. Looking cute. Seriously, how many times have you sweltered in the summer whilst literally wearing ONE layer of clothing. Now, you can add as many layers as you wish until you reach the desired temperature. No more stupid shoes, I can wear my leather boots and NEVER HAVE (literal) COLD FEET. Also, can I get an amen for NO MORE NAKED PEOPLE ON THE STREETS!
2. The cold. Autumn weather is perfect. It’s not warm, it’s not freezing. It is cold enough. Crunchy leaves. Seeing kids happily play in fallen leaves, even though there’s probably dog shit in them. There’s something beautiful about watching everything die (emo). Watching the flowers start to wilt. Watching grass turn patchy. The grey skies and thunderstorms. The matte forehead. The smell of the cold air, and the way it hurts the inside of your nose in a really nice way whilst the sun says its farewells.
3. Autumnal cliches. Purple lipstick, which I really don’t have time for. Daytime smokey eye that doesn’t sweat off. Spiced lattes, of which the pumpkin variety I have not yet tried. Cinnamon cake/toast/oatmeal/coffee/tea/air fresheners. Reading about Cathy and Heathcliff by the window with a fluffy blanket and fat socks. Whilst it’s pissing down outside and dark at 5pm. Beautiful.
4. Having an excuse to stay home. Remember when we were younger and would plead our parents to let us go out all the time? I mean not me, because my parents let me go wherever I wanted. But remember how we longed to be older, with more freedom and a driving license? Yeah. Sorry, high chance of rain. Sorry, I’m feeling a bit ill. Sorry, I was asleep [99% chance I actually was].
5. Netflix and CHILL. By myself. With a share bag of doritos and a fleecy blanket. If not Netflix, then Harry Potter. On TV. I think it’s a thing that one does not simply watch Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings in the Summer. The box sets just sit there collecting dust the entire year, because obviously, even though you have it on DVD, you gotta wait for it to come on TV.
6. The city. Yes. London. Which is gross and annoying in the Summer because there is literally nowhere to find shady quiet solace, and then there’s the knowledge that you still have to make the half hour journey back home on a disgusting, sweaty, bacteria infested tube. In the Winter however… GIVE ME ALL THE LIGHTS. GIVE ME ALL THE PUDDLES THAT REFLECT THOSE LIGHTS AND MAKE THE ENTIRE PLACE LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL FAIRGROUND. HOLD MY HAND AND LET’S GET COFFEE. FROM INSIDE A WATERSTONES. EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND IT’S GOING TO GET REAL CHRISTMASSY SOON SO HOLD TIGHT SON.
7. Comfort food. Guilt-free mac and cheese. Feeling compelled to get a slice of cake with your Costa latte. ALL THE ROAST DINNER. Street food tastes so much better when it’s cold outside. I used to get chips almost everyday after school/sixth form because it was simple heaven in my burning mouth (that’s how I got my figure, folks. Embrace the carbs). I’d say soup, but we don’t have soup in this house. We just laugh. That’s a thing you only have when you’re ill. Butter chicken. And imagine nihari on a cold, icy Sunday morning though. I’m salivating.
8. All the blankets and all the naps. Yeah, in the winter I have notoriously been known to wear 2 sets of pyjamas at once. And a hoodie. And chunky socks. And two blankets. I did say I was sensitive to extreme weather changes…Also, napping is so much more acceptable in the colder months – particularly Autumn. Because our bodies have been brutally subject to a few days of intense heat and being thrown back into the cold is something we have to readjust to, apparently. I mean, we need an excuse to nap twice a day. And napping feels so good when you don’t wake up all gross and hot.
9. Watching single people cry. After spending the Summer being a hoe. Haha.
10. Halloween. And freakin’ Bonfire Night. No explanations necessary.
Things to love about Autumn
