The clock ticks life away [Hey Assbutt]

I’m trying something new out.
This is a Hey Assbutt, but supercharged.
Contrary to Instagram’s beliefs, I don’t smoke all the time. In fact I hardly ever do, and I always leave at least a few days in between because it fucks with my mood. But whenever I do, I like to smoke alone. It’s my chill time, it’s not a social activity for me. Unless I’m close with you, I probably won’t want to smoke with you. I don’t like doing it in public places, I don’t like doing it prior to a public activity (i.e eating at a restaurant), because the whole point is for me to relax. Smoking and then doing something anxiety inducing defeats the purpose. I usually spend the time listening to music, eating, and then probably napping before I sober up. Sometimes I’ll even write some bullshit, as I have done here; I guess the ‘new’ thing here is bullshitting the high thoughts I have. Right now I wanna bitch about what is probably the most important thing to me: time.
If you waste my time, I will get extremely mothershitting angry. Something as simple as telling me we’re going to meet up (and being the considerate person I am, I’ll keep that day free for you), but not giving me a time and then messaging me way too late is enough for me to cut you off forever. I’m cool with last minute plans, but only if we didn’t have a plan in the first place. I feel like some people might think I get unreasonably angry when my time is wasted, because I do stop and check myself and try to calm down.
I don’t mean long term; I don’t mean the ‘uni was a waste of 3 years’ or the ‘he wasted 6 months of my life’. I mean short term. I can handle long term time wastage because it’s never really wasted; you always, always learn something from it. You learn about a person, or you learn about yourself. So it’s not so much a waste of time as a cumulation of time in which you were having life experiences. I can deal with that, I never really feel like anything has been wasted. When you waste more than a day of mine, it becomes my fault, so I can only be mad at myself.
I mean where you waste 45 minutes of my time because I’m waiting for you to answer me. In that instance, it’s 99% your fault for being an inconsiderate dick, and 1% mine for giving a shit about you. I mean when you waste 4 hours of my day because you said we had plans today but you don’t message me until it’s already late and ‘do I wanna meet up now’, as if I even feel like seeing you anymore. No, I don’t wanna meet up now, you’ve pissed me off, it’ll take me more time to get ready, and I can’t be bothered. I could have spent that time doing something else and now I’m never going to get it back you absolute dickweed.
How do I deal with it? a) go absolutely batshit crazy b) there is no option b.
Don’t waste my fucking time. I have shit to do.


Now Playing: In The End – Linkin Park

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